Miles Killer

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-22T12:43:00.001-08:00

I'm not complaining that it's 65 degrees as I write this, but it makes dreaming of a white Christmas more of a reality this year. Let's hope it happens! And then let's hope it melts quickly the next day.

I want to point out the I do not always look quite so pink as I do in this photo. Truth be told, I had applied a Pepto Bismol mask to my face a few hours before this photo was taken. I had been making Christmas crafts and decided to watch Dr. Oz at the same time. I had never watched the show before, but got sucked in by the "Beauty Tips You Can Find in Your Pantry" theme for the day. The Pepto Bismol mask was his breakthrough fix for dull skin.

I said to myself, "My skin feels dull. I fell dull. I have pepto in the house. LET'S DO THIS!"

I gave it a whirl and thought it felt tingly. But it wasn't until this card was photochopped and I was able to compare my skin tone to that of a normal elf, when I realized to Dr. Oz, having nice skin means making it pink. So there you have it, do not apply Pepto Bismol to your face. Merry Christmas!

Pumpkin Muffins

2011-11-24T07:28:00.000-08:00

Our Thanksgiving with family got cancelled this morning, when North woke up with a fever of 102. The first few hours, we spent on the couch, trying to get him to eat or drink something. The poor guy even let his special ice cream breakfast turn to soup. It was disturbing. I didn't know who he was anymore.

Eventually, the tylenol kicked in and he started acting like himself. By the time I got back from the grocery store, he was asking to make pumpkin muffins. So we did and I was happy to see him wolf down two big ones in a row. The kid is on the mend for sure.

Pumpkin Muffins

1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup wheat flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 cup fresh or canned solid-pack pumpkin
1/3 cup vegetable oil*
2 large eggs
3/4 cup white sugar sugar
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ginger
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon cinnamon sugar for sprinkling

Preheat oven to 350°F. Spray muffin tin with oil.

In medium bowl, combine flours & baking powder.

Whisk together pumpkin, oil, eggs, sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl until smooth, then whisk in flour mixture until just combined.

Divide batter among muffin cups, then sprinkle tops with cinnamon-sugar mixture.

Bake until puffed and golden brown and wooden pick or skewer inserted into the center of a muffin comes out clean, 20 to 25 minutes. Cool 5 minutes.

2 Years 7 Months

2011-11-09T13:32:00.001-08:00

Dear North,

Unfortunately, Halloween was a bit of a bust this year. I had high hopes of taking you to a few of the neighbors houses to trick or treat. But it was too cold and rainy, so you had to spin your spider webs inside. Plus, we had two pounds of Snickers and Twix to give out, so it seemed silly to go out in the cold wet night for the sake of candy that was less awesome than what we already had. Strategy North, that's what trick or treating is all about. So you spent the whole night dressed as a spider, with chocolate drool covering your face.

We've been taking advantage of the warm nights, even though it's been darker earlier. Lately, you wake up from your nap just as dusk sets in, which confuses you into thinking it's still morning. Once you regain your bearings, you immediately start demanding to take a walk and get the flashlight. Walking with you at night when we let you light the path is much like giving a squirrel a flashlight I suspect.

We've have many sweet memories with you from this fall. Often, you want to look out the window with us and whisper all of the different colors on the trees. Sometimes, while we sit there looking at all the colors and listening to the birds, you sigh the most wonderful, tiny sigh in the world. It's a such a quiet peaceful moment. All the meditation in the world couldn't bring me to a more mindful and present place than your simple sigh can.

Sausage squash soup with rosemary

2011-10-16T16:35:00.000-07:00

My in-laws brought us a hefty haul of apples, squashes and cabbage back from New York yesterday, which translated to lots of delicious smells in the kitchen today. I've made squash soups before that were good, but became boring or too sweet after a few bites. So I thought it might be interesting to process the squash and broth into a nice creamy texture, but then add some sausage, onion and potato for a more chunky texture. The results were a success, even if a bit labor intensive and left behind a sink full of dirty dishes.

4 lbs. squash (butternut or acorn)

1 lb. bass farm hot sausage (or similar ground sausage)

3 small-medium yukon gold potatoes, cubed bite-size

1 onion, diced

3-4 cloves garlic

32 oz. chicken broth

1 sprig fresh rosemary (3-4 inches?)

1/2 tsp. thyme

Preheat oven 400 degrees.

Half squash & seed. Place squash flesh side up in shallow baking dish with 1 inch of water in bottom. Rub 1 tablespoon of butter over squash and sprinkle with rosemary, salt and pepper. Bake 30-40 minutes or until tender. Set aside.

Cook sausage and drain fat. Add onion, garlic, rosemary, potatoes and saute 10-15 minutes or until potatoes are tender. Set aside.

In large pot, add chicken broth, thyme and softened squash, heat through. Process in blender, in batches and pour pureed squash back into pot. Add sausage mixture to pot and allow to reheat 10-15 minutes. Serves 5-7

2 Years 6 Months

2011-10-11T06:28:00.001-07:00

Dear North,

You are still making music out of trash. At this rate, I might start to paint you blue and market you as a Baby Blue Man. But I love hearing you make music out of thin air. If you're not banging on something, you're singing into a makeshift microphone. I'm not sure where you learned the microphone part from. So I'll just say you were born to rock. It will be interesting to see your musical inclination, especially considering how many instruments we have in the house.

Another example of your vocal ability. Kid, you can wail.

Then there are moments when you are just a lovely weirdo. You delight in making someone laugh, often at the expense of your own eye balls. You may notice in this video that you pronounce your name "Dorothy". Maybe this is your stage name? But the only time I can get you to pronounce the "N" is if you use a deep southern drawl to say it, "Noa-thy". It is equally hilarious.

It strikes me in all of the videos from this summer, that you are never wearing pants. Some days, it even took too much effort to put a shirt on you and so we let you run around like a hammer-wielding diaper-clad savage. Maybe I should be more embarrassed about this.

2 Years 5 Months

2011-09-12T13:43:00.001-07:00

Dear North,

For the sake of elmo stickers, you spontaneously started yourself potty training recently. The M&Ms came later to keep you motivated. My favorite part of potty training is seeing you run around the house in your underpants. I can't help but stare at your cute little butt as it scurries past, even though I kind of feel like a pervert in the process.

This past weekend some friends came over with their eleven month old. While he took a nap, the rest of us sat in the living room to visit and watch you play. After presenting the majority of your toys to our visitors, you decided it was time to rock out. With great care, you handed each of us a homemade drum, an egg maraca, a "microphone" kitty toy and a watering can respectively. I admit the watering can was a bit of a stretch as far as musical instruments go. I figured you wanted a jug band kind of sound. You chose to wail on the recorder, like a tiny Jethro Tull in diapers. We all played along, jamming to a rough cut of "Pee Pee in the Potty". It was the best way I've spent a Saturday afternoon in some time.

The video below is not the actual event, it was the rehearsal practice the night before.

2 Years 4 Months

2011-08-11T12:04:00.000-07:00

Dear North,

Our big family vacation has come and gone. We spent a week in the Outer Banks at a house in Salvo, NC. And when I say big, I'm not joking. Twenty-seven people slept in one house, with ages from two to seventy-six years...unless you are the company that leased to us, in which case, I'm lying.

You were a near perfect child and everyone was in love with your giggles. One night, while your dad and I took an after dinner walk along the beach, the family kept you entertained. You spent most of that time shining a flashlight into various willing victims eyes until they reacted in some theatrical fashion. By far, the act that received the most North giggles was my Uncle Randy flailing his body on the living room floor. At one point, you were so exhausted with laughter that you got a very stern look and yelled, "stop it!"

There were a ton of kids at the house, all vying for your attention and acting as little helpers to me all week. The younger boys, in particular, came on many of our daily walks. They would spend the walk bartering out agreements dictating when it was the other boys turn to push your stroller. Then you got up out of your stroller and wanted to push it yourself. That put the power struggle between them entirely out of whack because they already understood that the baby in the family trumps all.

Hanging out with them took me back to my own childhood and caring for the younger kids. That's such a valuable aspect of families that still live in the same town. We grew up with our cousins, aunts and uncles as if they were siblings and care givers. In my hometown, the adage "it takes a village" to this day, still applies. Seeing those same babies I used to lug around with my ten year old body, now as adults is proof of how important those connections are. Watching the hilarious disputes over who can do stuff for the baby between the current batch of the kids confirms it. The circle continues and no matter what, the family is always there to support you.

Your great grandmother came along for the ride, whom you took to calling Gigi, for short. One morning, she emerged from the elevator and you exclaimed, "hi Gigi" with a wave. That was the cherry on top of her vacation sundae. Another of my favorite moments was getting her to the beach for a view of the ocean in her metal rickshaw. Her grandkids and older great grand kids had already brought her halfway and were taking a break when I crossed on top of the dune to take pictures. I expected a more joking scene, but when I came upon them, her trust in them and their devotion to getting her to the shore was quite moving. She made it to the beach on three very memorable occasions

2 Years 3 Months

2011-07-07T03:47:00.000-07:00

Dear North,

I'm writing this over one month in the future because the internet allows me to time travel with the click of a button. Also, I've been lazy and when I have a free second to myself, spending it on the computer does not often come to mind. Especially when I could be outside sweating my body weight in the 100+ degree temperatures.

I don't remember heat like this from my childhood. I don't recall sweating like this. Maybe that's because it sticks to me like one more reminder of how unstable the world seems to be. The sweat is one more layer of yuck. I try to stay optimistic; but sometimes thinking about what the future holds, I get scared for you. Maybe I shouldn't tell you that. But it's been on my mind a lot even when I consider something as simple as what the weather patterns will be when you are my age.

But on to lighter fare from weeks past.

We took a beach trip to Carolina Beach State Park and camped in the pop-up. It was our first beach trip with the camper. There's not much in the way of accessible beach there, but it is a nice tree-filled park to bike around and use for sleeping.

During the day, we drove south to Fort Fisher and played at the beach across the street. There are large rocks there that meet the waves. Some people were climbing them and collecting live starfish from between the rocks where tiny pools had formed.

This trip to the ocean, you were intimated by the waves. You opted to build sand castles and collect shells, rather than go near the water.

I'm glad that you enjoy the little quiet pleasures in life like collecting sea shells and rocks. I hope your fascination with the world around you never dissipates. Although to be honest, between your collection and mine, we may need to add on to the house.

2 Years 2 Months

2011-06-14T09:56:00.001-07:00

Dear North,

As I'm late writing this, the longest day of the year has passed and now is the time each year when I try harder to savor these remaining summer months. Not that we haven't already been relishing in our summer that's been packed with four camping trips and a trip to NY/PA over Memorial Day. The work week has turned into a frenzy of activity with the weekend destination as the main objective. It's kind of like living in the future through the week and then slamming on the brakes to enjoy the here and now of those precious weekend moments.

You loved the NC AgFest again this year, preferring a tour of the tractors to the carnival rides. We watched a tractor pull, "baaed" at the sheep, ate banana pudding ice cream and enjoyed some bluegrass music while eating barbecue. It doesn't get any more NC than that.

We were lucky enough to visit some family camping at Parker Dam while we were in DuBois during our visit. You became best friends with your cousin, Garrett, and held his hand the whole ride up to the park. Here you are making sure that he's staying hydrated.

The weather finally held so that we could go to a First Friday in downtown Raleigh. It's the perfect mix of adult and kid friendly free entertainment. That night, we happened upon some hula hoops, a small art festival, fire dancers, live music and beer that could be enjoyed as we walked along.

I never thought there could be a more perfect summer than the one when you were first born. But so far, this one is shaping up to be my favorite. Nothing quite compares to hearing your tiny voice added to the conversation.

2 Years 1 Month

2011-05-15T04:52:00.000-07:00

Dear North,

I'm afraid you have reached the dreaded age that people affectionately refer to as the terrible twos. Anything and everything can transform our adorable you into a mess of tears and screaming. Still, we continue to take you out in public. Such gluttons for punishment we are.

Your dad and I love this age though (aside from those previously mentioned moments when you are a raging a-s-s-h-o-l-e). For example, we went out to dinner at a mildly fancy bistro last week. I had packed a big bag of food and two drinks for you, plus a pacifier to use as a last resort. We would never let you continuously scream and cry in a restaurant; rather we try to stuff food and drink into your scream hole and if it comes to it, take you outside. But all my preparation was for naught. You were the cutest guy in the place and so social. Every time someone walked by the table, you greeted them with a boisterous "hiiiiii," accompanied by a friendly wave. And when I say every time, I mean every time. It was really cute the first ten times, but it did get slightly stale around the twentieth. Still, when I thanked the manager for everything, he thanked me for bringing you in and gave us a free dessert. It gives me the idea to take you everywhere I go and demand free things because you are with me.

We've been camping two weekends in a row so far this season and it is already so much easier than last year. Finally, you are at the age, where we can sit back on our lazy haunches and keep an eye on you, rather than having to chase you around constantly. Now you can somewhat understand the perimeter you must stay within. But every now and then, I'll watch you when you think my back is turned. You'll start inching your way into the no-go zone, turning back to smirk at whoever might be watching. It's hard to reprimand you when you're such a little devil, but we manage.

You have developed somewhat of a curiosity for bugs and worms, although often these moments end up in bug fatalities. Last weekend, during our camping trip, the cicada nymphs emerged from the soil and began zombie climbing up all the trees surrounding our site. Your dad noticed them first and drew our attention to it. You were curious, but needed someone else to touch it first before you would. I appreciate your wary curiosity and hope that you maintain it until you learn some more about this world. Those particular cicadas won't be returning for another 13 years, which means you will be fifteen by the time you can poke one again. I hope you still ask me to do it first though.

2 Years

2011-04-07T03:17:00.000-07:00

Dear North,

I guess I'm supposed to do a recap of your last year since this letter is representing your milestone birthday of two years. To be honest, I can't remember much beyond what has happened in the last month. Anything beyond that is snapshots in my head of a very different person than the little guy you currently are. I can barely remember a time when you couldn't walk. Now that you're talking more, the months you spent whimpering and pointing to communicate are foggy. To take it back to the very beginning when the nurse plopped a tiny six pound you on my belly is almost inconceivable.

I remember those early days were exhausting, blissful, hilarious, frustrating and the best of my life. I wouldn't call them hard exactly, but this motherhood gig has made me dig deeper than any other challenge I've faced to date. I hear other moms say they are the best mom they can be. But I have to be honest and admit that there are times when I know I could be better. I could be more patient. I could be more selfless. I could try harder. I know that you will push me to be better. I just want you to know that as you are growing and learning, so am I.

None of this is to say that I'm not proud of the job we are doing with you. I am quite proud and hope that a tiny bit of your awesomeness is a result of our efforts. Mostly though, you were simply born that way. You are a fantastic weirdo, which is all we could have ever hoped for. I hope that you never lose those qualities that make you so special, especially if it's to appease other people. Having you around gives me permission to be silly again and stop taking myself so seriously. You make me take a step back and appreciate the wonderful life we are all blessed to share, even if some days are better than others. So thanks to you little man for giving me a daily dose of perspective on how to make my time left on this great Earth of ours a pleasure.

Now on to you, my silly bean.

1 year 11 months

2011-03-07T10:57:00.000-08:00

Dear North,

You have become a biter, a friendly biter, but a biter nonetheless. What seems like an innocent snuggle quickly turns into, "oww, you bit me!" That's followed by a lot of thinking about what to do about these love bites. Should we bite you back to show you that it hurts? Or should we lead by example and explain to you that people do not bite, even if they are adorable puppies. One thing is for certain, your first girlfriend is going to hear all about the multiple times you have now bitten me on my buttocks. But then I will show her this video and she will forget all about what grossed her out a second ago.

Speaking of your future partners, that person will find a great mate in you. Your dad has already started your all purpose handyman education, which seems to be a rare talent these days. While your ma, on the other hand, has started your domestic training. When you're not busy drilling and hammering, you help me bake bread, vacuum, pick up and wipe every surface in the house. Sweet Jesus, you love to wipe. Some toddlers steal cookies, but you steal wipes out of the diaper bag so you can clean. I don't know where you learned this odd behavior...

But I do know that you gotta start them young.

Ikea did not pay me to say this (call me Ikea!)

2011-02-22T11:08:00.000-08:00

This is what it looks like after you get home from Ikea. Normally, there are more disposable Allen Wrenches involved (speaking of which, does anyone have a use for them after the fact?)

North and Mr. Foot try out his new craft table. Mr. Foot liked Ikea a lot and his favorite part was the Swedish meatballs, hence the diaper.

Our pantry storage was lacking when we moved in and Dave has made it his mission to find creative ways to add more storage space not just in the pantry, but everywhere in the house. Ikea's floating shelves work well to take advantage of our high ceilings, while still keeping items within easy reach. (Seriously, Ikea, are you dialing my number yet?)

I've never understood the modern fixation with huge kitchens, that is, unless your last name is Duggar. But I suppose counter top space is a nice thing to have. We (Dave) installed this little rack under our magnetic knife storage on the side of our oven to house vitamins and medications that previously dominated sacred counter space. Vitamins never looked so delicious.

Our back splash is a work in progress until we figure out the counter top situation (probably concrete). But we needed a little something there to tide us over in the meantime. Now when I stand at the sink washing dishes and gazing upon my sweet little succulent plants, a smile stretches across my face.

1 year 10 months

2011-02-09T05:58:00.000-08:00

Dear North,

There were some big achievements in the last month. You're demanding various food stuff like cookies, crackers and juice throughout the day using those words, which is exciting and frightening. I admit to previously knowing what you wanted when I heard you making your puppy noise, but I attempted to distract you until you forgot about whatever carbohydrate you were begging for in that moment. But now you know the word for those things and we can't pretend to not understand you. Or you might just take matters into your own hands...

So now that you can open the pantry door, you have very little need for your parents. If it weren't for our ability to locate hidden cookies and open the refrigerator, you might just leave home with a sack tied to a stick thinking you are ready for the world.

You currently hang out in the pantry, squatting on top of carton of mason jars and spend your time relocating the condiments to different shelves. Half of our pantry storage is now crammed into the upper shelves you haven't figured out how to access yet. Eventually, you spot the cracker box, grab it and hunt down the parental unit while repeating over and over "CA-CKU? CA-CKU?..." You can easily open the box, but when you bring it to me, I give you one. I like to think that at least you brought it to me to ask for one rather than tearing into it and creating cracker mayhem in the process. But I don't think it's about the food, I think you're just damn impressed with yourself for being able to say what you want in that particular minute. Nonetheless, our house is still covered in cracker crumbs all the time.

Sometimes, I hear you over the baby monitor right before you fall asleep going through your repertoire of words. I think you know that someone can hear you. Maybe you are looking for rescue from your crib. Daddy? Mommy? Puppy?

I love to call home from work and be able to talk to you. Since your vocabulary is still limited, I say words and you repeat them back to me or I ask you what something says and you make that sound. No matter how my day is going, hearing your tiny voice makes my heart leap out of my chest. But nothing is like seeing you say words in person, with your chest swelled up with pride and a twinkle in your eye.

Oh and by the way, here is evidence of the daddy and me matching flannel phenomenon.

1 Year 9 Months

2011-01-07T04:50:00.000-08:00

Dear North,

The excitement of the holiday season is behind us and we are left with a house brimming with toys. Although you didn't seem to understand Christmas per say, you sure enjoyed ripping into presents.

In the winter, most animals slow down and hunker down for the chilly months. But you are not one of those mammals. Being stuck indoors has been a challenge. We have removed the gates, excepting the one accessing the stairs and you now have free range to roam and explore. It is rare to see you sit still, especially when you could be rooting for carbs in the pantry or flushing the toilet, two of your most recent obsessions.

Hide and seek is one of your favorite pastimes, except you have a hilarious twist to the rules. When you are the hider, which is most of the time, the seeker is expected to ignore you staring straight at them smiling like a mad man. No, instead they must look for you in ridiculous places while repeating "where are you North?" until you emerge from your hiding spot and get closer and closer. Eventually, you put your face right in front of their face. That's when the seeker is allowed to say "there you are!" and everyone falls into a pile of giggles.

You're finally over a bad cough that lasted a week or so. I've never seen such an unhappy puppy. Of course, during those sick days we gave you whatever you wanted. By day three you were surviving on graham crackers, juice and honey. Entire days were spent watching youtube videos on the computer because that's what you wanted. I'd say you enjoyed calling the shots for a few days. Then you started to feel better and your parents turned on you.

We are still dealing with the fallout, of course. Your dad told me that you followed him around the house throwing mobile tantrums the other day. You threw yourself down and let out a cry. Your dad left the room. You looked up, realized no one was watching your awesome display of dismay, you pressed the pause button on your tantrum setting and picked yourself up to go in search of an audience. Once you found him, you immediately resumed the gruesome production for his viewing pleasure. I hope to get it on video one day. Here are a couple of moments we have been able to capture on video.

Merry Christmas

2010-12-14T09:56:00.001-08:00

1 Year 8 Months

2010-12-07T13:17:00.000-08:00

Dear North,

I am convinced you are Mister McGoo. You always seem to be walking on the brink of certain painful injury and are saved just in the nick of time. It's not due to blindness, as is the case of McGoo. Rather, you just cannot stop yourself from exploring all things dangerous. I know I've written about this before, but it's only getting worse as you gain confidence in your climbing abilities and electrical knowledge. Meanwhile, your dad and I stand guard beside you, attempting to catch you when you fall and keep you from electrocuting yourself. That's our job now and for a long time to come.

You spend a good amount of time with dad in the garage these days too, sorting bins and playing with the tape measure. Maybe that explains your recent pastimes like hammering on the sliding glass doors and taking a screwdriver to your train. You imitate everything you see us doing, which makes you somewhat of a mirror. It's terrifying really and means we have to start acting appropriately while driving.

Because you are a parrot, language is improving slowly but surely. You can say dada, mama, green, meow, daddy, baby. Those last 2 just came out this weekend and we've been practicing other "y" ending words ever since. Believe me when I say, your father would happily sit for hours listening to you say "da dee" over and over again. He would melt into a puddle each time too.

Between you and me, on the weekends, your dad has been dressing you in flannel shirts to compliment his own color palette of the day. On Saturday, you both wore red flannel and on Sunday, the hue was blue. It's pretty much the cutest thing I've ever seen.

And now, some pictures!

"Are you trying to trick me into eating vegetables again?"

"Alright I'll eat it, but don't try any funny stuff. I've got my eye on you."

Any guesses on what the cameraman is wearing?

1 Year 7 Months

2010-11-11T04:11:00.000-08:00

Dear North,

Every month that goes by becomes our new favorite version of you. In the past month, your comprehension of what we are saying is more obvious than ever. You delight in pointing to body parts as we call them out to you. Chores are made more enjoyable with you as a helper, eager to follow our directions. Even being told no is more acceptable lately as long as we explain the reasoning behind the denial. With the chill in the air, you often grab a book and a blanket and plop down in the nearest lap for story time. Maybe being stuck indoors for the winter won't be so bad after all?

Left to your own devices, I can normally find you surfing the internets, squirting the cat (or any object really) with the spray bottle or moving a chair across the living room to access the light switch. Occasionally, you even touch your actual toys. You take them out one by one, pile them in a new location and then carefully put them back in your toy bin. I do not know where you get your OCD from though.

The other day as we played with blocks in the living room, I caught myself staring at you and studying your every feature. Had you noticed my glazed over eyes and strange smile, it might have freaked you out. You are our little boy! It's a stupidly simple realization that occurs to me less frequently as I allow myself to get caught up in meaningless day to day activities of life. But in that moment, I recaptured some of the awe I felt holding you in my arms those first minutes of your life. I promise to open myself up to that amazement more often. But I cannot promise that I won't smother you with kisses as a result.

2010-10-12T03:45:00.000-07:00

I flipped the screen over so he could look at himself while I filmed him. He obviously liked what he saw.

A rare glimpse into life with a North.

1 Year 6 Months

2010-10-07T02:57:00.000-07:00

Dear North,

You are a whopping eighteen months old already. Even if I didn't know it myself, the season change seems to be reminding me of how quickly time moves. I will always enjoy how your birthday is the beginning of Spring because it's pleasant to mark time in conjunction with the season changes of North Carolina.

Our early fall has been filled with camping trips to Jordan Lake. Around the campsite, you like to tidy up by mowing the pine straw and relocating rocks. The camping experience has changed with you in the picture. As always, you are independent and drawn to dangerous situations like investigating the fire pit and turning the knob on the propane tank. If not being watched at all times, you will wander off into the woods or down the road in search of new sticks, rocks and often, garbage. We always leave our campsite cleaner than we found it thanks to you.

One of our campsites had a marked path down to a private beach along the lake. You were free to roam up and down the sands pointing at the different debris that had washed ashore. Sticks seemed to be your favorite find. Sometimes it is pointless to take toys to the beach, although you always love a simple bucket and shovel. But you often abandon everything in search of adventure. Then one of your mean parents chases after you, cutting your quest short again.

This is your reaction to being told not to do something. We see this face a lot. I admit, it makes me laugh. Of course, I hate seeing you so unhappy, but I find it amusing that the simplest things can bring your world crashing down. Like both of your parents, you hate being told what not to do. To get back at us, you have mastered the art of fake crying. It sounds like a machine gun, a very fake machine gun that fires at the utterance of the word "no" that is.

Then it's right back to being adorable.

1 Year 5 Months

2010-09-08T04:31:00.000-07:00

Dear North,

September is upon us and with it the end of summer. As we move into the thankfully cooler temperatures of fall, I welcome the relief from the oppressive heat and am excited by the prospect of many camping adventures in the next few weeks. We just bought a new to us pop up camper to make these adventures even more enjoyable for all of us.

You were particularly fond of playing in the galley sink, with your body snugly wedged between the back of the counter and the camper's screened window. Much of your time inside was spent squeezing the bubbles out of the sponge and then wiping the bubbles off everything. Thankfully, you haven't attempted to rotate the sink handles to turn the faucet on yet. Your dad and I work as a team, one of us distracting you while the other slyly uses the water as quickly as possible. I hate to think about the day you open the flood gates, but I promise to laugh when it inevitably happens since I've just jinxed myself.

You're still taking two naps per day and sleep about eleven hours per night, which was a great concern of mine going into this trip. You do great in a crib, but you've never slept in your own bed or with us. The first night we set up camp, we decided to have you sleep on the convertible bed/dinette area because it's the shortest bed. We stuffed the exposed side of the bed with pillows, just in case you rolled off in the night. Aided by the blue glow from the radio light, all night long, your father and I checked on you to make sure you were okay. Around three in the morning, I woke up and you were gone. My stomach dropped as my body sprung to action. I scanned the room but there was no trace of you, a lamby or a binkie in sight. Perched on top of the table bed, I reached under the table to the cubby area and felt your fuzzy head. I may have possibly poked you in the eye too. They say to never wake a sleeping baby and I'm certainly not disputing what "they" say so early in the morning. I heard murmurs from the table depths about an hour later and rescued you. You slept between us on the king sized mattress after that, which became one of our favorite memories of this trip.

When we needed a break from chasing you back and forth around the campsite, your dad would sit with you while you played in the truck. The inside of a vehicle is a wonderland for you, but the truck seems to be your favorite.

This will be the picture that will break my heart when I look back years from now and reflect on how little you were. So don't be surprised if I make you wear a sleep sack into your teenage years.

1 Year 4 Months

2010-08-17T04:49:00.000-07:00

Dear North,

I'm a little late getting your letter out this month because we've been running on empty getting ready for vacation and then burning on fumes since we've been back. You were a little trooper all through vacation though (other than those early 5:30 AM mornings) and everyone commented on how well behaved you were. Being back at home, I think you miss the hustle and bustle of all the people around.

You must have learned quite a few tricks from all the other kids during vacation because you are playing games with us now that we have not taught you. For example, you love a new game where you sit on the couch holding the remote control and offer it to either your dad or me with your puppy noise that means everything. It's the same noise that means, "can I have that", "what is that", "pick me up", "can we go outside" etc. But in this case, the puppy noise means , "here, have the remote control." So I try to accept it from you, but you pull it back with both hands and snuggle it into your body while giggling madly. Rinse. Repeat. You could play this game for hours delighted with keeping the remote control out of our greedy paws.

One point of difficulty is getting you to eat new foods. Oh who am I kidding, sometimes you won't even eat the things that were your favorite only yesterday. I hope by the time you are reading this, it will make you laugh because by then, you will have conquered your hatred of all things vegetable and we can giggle over this hopefully short lived phase.

I've always promised myself that I won't give up on offering you new foods and vegetables, but living up to that promise is quite tiresome, not to mention wasteful. I've even tried pureeing vegetables and hiding them in pasta sauces. You caught on quickly to that game though and now shake off the noodles before putting them in your mouth. I worry you're going to be one of those kids that only eats chicken nuggets and bread and I feel guilty that I ever judged the parents of those kids in the first place. Now I can see that those children wore the parents down day by day, throwing green bean after green bean off their tray and onto the floor. The struggle has become less about the quality of food you let grace the inside of your mouth and more about the success of getting you to swallow, well, anything. Bill Cosby's rationalization of giving his children chocolate cake for breakfast comes to mind.

I'm sad to see your Midas Tire Guy arms slowly morph from baby fat into the slender arms of a little boy. Maybe this is the silver lining to your high carb diet though? Thankfully, you still have one or two pudgy little rings that we tickle with kisses while we still can. You are freshly tanned from the beach except for those baby rolls. It almost looks like you put rubber bands up your arms before laying out in the sun. This will be the one time in your life when untanned rolls of fat are considered desirable, so enjoy it son.

It's difficult being back at work after spending nine days in a row with you. I find myself staring at my screen saver and wishing I could kiss your plump cheeks and smell your fuzzy head all day long. Even when your hair is encrusted with your dinner and your cheeks are covered in dried drool you smell like the most expensive perfume to me.

1 Year 3 Months

2010-07-07T03:33:00.000-07:00

Dear North,

Fifteen months we have shared with you and they have been the best of our life.

Our summer has started taking on a predictable routine over the last few weeks. You spend your morning with dad taking walks around the neighborhood touching trees and pointing at the sounds you hear. Afterwards, the two of you play in the living room for awhile. Your father builds lego towers which you destroy with gusto. He pushes trucks along right beside you as you both spit your vroom vroom noises all over the living room. You are most definitely all boy. Although I have caught you wearing my bra around your neck a few times now.

Afternoons are spent with me outside in the swimming pool. My goal is to get you floating on your back by the end of the summer. Initially, you hated laying your head back in the water, so step one was getting you comfortable with water on your head. When we are in the pool playing, I'll casually splash water in your face or dump a small cup of water over your head. The first time I did it, you gave me this look of "mom, what the HELL was that for?" But now, you are barely phased by it at all. In fact, you dump the water over your own head. So we are on to step two: blowing bubbles in the water. The easiest way I could figure how to do this is to do a raspberry into the water, submerging my mouth and nose just under the surface. You squeal at the bubbles and slap the back of my head deeper under water as if that will make more bubbles. You attempt to mimic my raspberry until you're about an inch from the water and then you open your mouth and take a sip of the pool water. Not exactly what I was going for, but I guess swimming makes you thirsty? Step two might take a little longer than I expected!

So far, you're not much of a talker. You still babble and squeal, but there are no real words in the jumble. Everything is still "dadadada" right now. Unless you get upset, in which case you often erupt in the most pitiful "maaaaaamaaaaa!" that's ever ripped my heart right out of my chest. People keep telling me about the vocabulary explosion that's in store for you, but right now you seem to be able to communicate just fine by pointing at objects and making puppy-like whines. Rather than get all freaked out by the monthly baby progress emails I signed up for that have somehow calculated how many words you should be saying at fifteen months, I'm trying to enjoy what are probably the last few quiet days we may have for many years to come.

You seem to be less of a talker and more of a doer though. You don't have time to say cat or point at your nose because you are a very busy thirty inch tall man. There are couches to climb and beer bottles to throw off the deck! How can I expect you to wave hi to me when there are so many tomatoes that need picking? There is no time to learn new words when it is your job to press the power button on the television every thirty seconds. Busy busy busy, you are our son for sure.

1 Year 2 Months

2010-06-07T09:49:00.000-07:00

Dear North,

Our summer traveling plans have been in full swing this month and we've already taken you to the beach and up north to Pennsylvania. With all that time stuck in a car, we've been seeing a lot of this out of you:

All the traveling seems to be fine with you, especially since we discovered how much you love water. I told you I'd give you a cookie if you made super happy baby noises for the camera. That's my boy, bought off easily!

Each month, we try to take a photo of you, but I'm afraid you currently look like you went one round with Rocky Balboa. You have battle scars from all of your climbing monkey antics and thus, the inevitable crash landing that follows.

Yesterday, I came home from work and Miss Patty told me about an alarming goose egg on the side of your noggin. I wish someone had warned me about how horrible they look, so close to the brain and all. It was like your brain was pushing it's way out of your skull and into that perfect little bubble. You seemed unfazed by it though when I rubbed it with my finger. You are so strong like bull except when I won't give you the remote control and you melt into a screaming puddle of tears.

It's strange to me that you will grow up in a world where you can search any information you need quickly and efficiently. In my day, you had to call a radio station or if you were really serious, you had to consult what we called an "encyclopedia". Funny word right? In spelling bees of the future, that space kid will ask for it to be used in a sentence because he doesn't know what it is. We got our set "free" after buying a billion dollars worth of groceries back in the 80s.

I mention the computer searching because that's what I did to appease myself that you, in fact, were going to wake up from your nap. That was one big egg! But the article I read was obviously written with amped up overly cautious moms in mind because the first tip was not to panic. Followed by a quick #2 of "you do not need to page your doctor." That was all the further I needed to read. After all, humans came out of caves and survived, flourished even. It's so easy to forget how resilient the human head is when I see a protruding knot climbing its way out of your fuzzy hair.

We let you do your mostly supervised climbing around your play area, which includes the couch and dining room table. I don't know what the correct approach is on this, but I know that "no" doesn't stop you. Plus, it seems to me that "no" can become a lazy habit of parents too distracted to supervise their kid. I try to reserve my use of "no" to dangerous situations only. I figure, you're going to do whatever you want to do anyway and if you practice more with someone there, eventually you will get better at it. Don't get me wrong, if you insist on driving my car, the "practice makes perfect" philosophy ends there. We saw what happened last time we tried that.

All of this brings me to last night when I heard some papers shuffling behind your father and me as we sat on the couch. I turned my head to see you perched on top of the dining room table pushing newspapers over the edge. You had silently assembled a makeshift ladder out of your potty/step and a chair to ascend the table top. You beamed a prideful grin in our direction and threw another ad circular to its hardwood floor death below. I'm wondering if all those bananas you eat are turning you into part monkey.

North Discovers the Rain

2010-06-01T12:02:00.000-07:00

Farmer in training

2010-05-26T04:50:00.000-07:00

Living so close to the fairgrounds has its perks. Friday night, we spontaneously checked out the Got to Be NC Ag Festival. It was a mini fair really, except free, so a lot more awesome than the regular fair. There were old tractors on display, a petting zoo, mini pig races, rides, fair food and carnies galore. It was kind of like heaven for a certain little guy.

North attracted quite a crowd when this photo was shot. Dave was crouched down at the side of the tractor and I was behind him holding the back of his pants by their belt loops so he didn't fall off the high seat of the tractor. In other words, passersby couldn't see the parents of said baby. All they could see was this tiny cute person perched on the tractor pretending to drive it and they began snapping pictures too.

I love this one. It looks like he's surveying his fields considering how much plowing he has to get done before nightfall. A two foot farmer's work is never done.

Jake

2010-05-20T03:53:00.000-07:00

Jake, our dog, passed suddenly on Monday night. The rain and cold weather have reflected the somber mood in our house ever since.

I find myself missing him at different moments throughout the day. I'm sure we all have our unique moments we shared with him. But mine mostly revolve around the kitchen and food. That was our special time; the only moment he would allow Dave to leave his sight, in fact. When Jake was home and I was cooking, he was a fixture laying in the middle of the kitchen looking up at me with his most pitiful puppy dog eyes. He pegged me for a sucker and guilted the carrots to jump right off my chopping board and into his mouth. We happily munched away, while Luna, our cat, glared at us from the sidelines. He was the best kitchen assistant I've ever worked with.

There is a missing energy in the house now. I suppose you take those energies for granted after awhile. It is almost too quiet.

I know we will be reminded of him for years to come, especially when finding little Jake furballs here and there. Bits of velcro white fur make me smile now.

1 Year 1 Month

2010-05-07T03:27:00.000-07:00

Dear North,

The past month has been filled with a whirlwind of activity in our house. We've staged two garage sales, had family in town, installed new kitchen appliances and are currently in the middle of a garage and drainage construction project. All this and your father and I have both gone back to work full time.

But no matter what activity we are involved in, there you are right along side us. Some times watching, at other times busy playing with whatever object is nearby. Your happy baby babble is our soundtrack while we work. That is one of the last baby things you still do.

Overall, I see your transition happening right now from baby to toddler. You can sort of run. I mean, you can run, but I don't think you're going to get in the Olympics any time soon with that bad running form. You climb up and down stairs and if the front door is unlocked, you have figured out how to turn the handle to open it. You also have started to push chairs around and climb on them to get at items that were previously unreachable. Pretty soon, the only place left for me to store breakables will be the ceiling. But I'm sure the moment I move everything to the ceiling, there you would be rapelling off the fan or something.

Lately, your favorite activity is chasing our dog, Jake, around the house while holding his leash. You charge at him holding the connector part of the leash to take him for a walk. Meanwhile, Jake scampers around and around looking for an escape from your maniacal giggles and ear piercing squeals. I think he finds the whole thing terrifying.

Sadly, I imagine you will only remember him from pictures. Our poor Jake is not doing so good these days and his time left with us is likely to be limited. From what the x-rays show, the vet thinks his lungs are filled with tumors. All we can do is make him as comfortable and happy as possible. This translates to extra treats, like on Sunday when Dave made him his own blueberry pancake. It also means we are taking a camping trip while Jake still seems to feel pretty good. Even with all the medication he's on, he's still the same smiling Jake he's always been. He's had a good fourteen years for sure.

It's hard to let go of someone that has been such an integral part of the family for so long. I am thankful that we have time left with him to say goodbye and let our furry friend know how much we all love him.

Amazing things can happen to us when we are caring for a sick loved one with little time left. We put ourselves aside and they become our focus. Everything revolves around how we can make them happy, even if just for a moment. It's a good lesson to try harder to live that way for all people in your life every day.

2010-04-13T03:10:00.000-07:00

When Dave took Jake, our dog, out for a walk early Sunday morning, he saw a Little Tykes jungle gym pushed to the edge of our neighbors driveway a few houses away. After North went down for a nap, we snuck away to check it out and see if we could transport it by hand. Stupidly, we brought Jake on the excursion with us. Excited and unable to contain his bowels, he squatted and pooped right in the driveway of the neighbor while we stood there figuring out how to move their free play set.

"Thank you for the free toy, here is some poop for you!"

Dave bagged up the poop and strapped Jake's leash through his belt loop and Jake squatted again in the road and shat three more times. Again, Dave bagged the poop, resituated our poopy puppy and took up his side of the jungle gym. Meanwhile, the neighbors giving away the item were surely watching our display and will now think twice before they do a good deed in the future. Strange, but some people do not like to be thanked in feces.

Dave later reported that he saw said neighbor power washing the end of his driveway where the transgression occurred. I need to make a point to thank them in a less crappy way.

12 Months

2010-04-07T07:17:00.001-07:00

North's First Year from Dave Kilian on Vimeo.

April 6

2010-04-06T01:00:00.000-07:00

Dear North,

One year ago today, you were thinking about saying hello to the world for the first time. Then you cuddled up with one of my ovaries and took a nap instead.

Those first cramps made me realize the reality of you. Pain forces you into the moment I suppose. My entire pregnancy felt too surreal to take seriously. But those first pains of labor forced me to grasp that you were headed into the world and our lives would never be the same.

Now, life before you feels like a movie I once watched. It was a good movie, but I like this new one much better.

Love,

Mama

11 Months

2010-03-07T03:54:00.000-08:00

Dear North,

After 24 hours of walking, you think you are a big shot. Yesterday, as I made dinner in the kitchen, you played in the living room. I can normally see you the whole time or at least hear you when you crawl to the far end of the room. I should have known you were up to no good when suddenly not a peep was coming from you. This happens occasionally; it makes my heart pound in fear when I get to the living room and you are nowhere to be found. Then I'll see the tall metal lamp swaying back and forth as if possessed and find you have made your way behind the recliner to play with it. But yesterday, you were not in any of your usual hiding places. In fact, you were out in the open, but off the floor entirely. You had crawled onto the fireplace hearth and only your butt could be seen as your upper body was making its way inside the actual fireplace. You turned your head and gave me this big smile as if to say, "look what I found mom, black stuff!"

I removed you from the hearth and poorly attempted to block access to it by moving some large toys in front of it and hoped that you would just forget how you got up there in the first place. I returned to my cooking. A few minutes later, I heard our makeshift "gate" sliding ever so slowly across the floor. The gate is really a Radio Flyer wagon still in its box and we have it sort of wedged between the couch and the wall blocking access to the dining room. I made my way toward the noise to find you had escaped and were confidently walking across the dining room toward me.

From a parenting standpoint, I was in a pickle. Looking back on how I reacted, I chose badly because I praised you for walking across the room like a big boy. So it should have been no surprise that when I put you back in your makeshift living room prison you managed to escape three more times in the ten minutes it took me to finish dinner. Because I had moved the couch out to wedge the wagon box more securely, you found a new means of escape by rocking the heavy box toward you until it fell thereby allowing you to simply crawl over it. Kid, you are too smart for your own good.

The following day, I watched you jailbreak time and again and caught it on video.

With each month, the actual parenting of you is becoming more and more challenging. There are so many things you do that are hilarious and make your father and I want to fall over laughing. But some of these funny things are bad behaviors that we do not want to make into habits by positively reinforcing them with smiles and laughter. For example, you love to do raspberries while eating yogurt and even though I am often covered in yogurt spittle during one of your raspberry episodes, it still cracks me up. But I have to put my super serious mommy face on and swallow back my delight.

We are now paying the price for rewarding you with giggles, especially when it comes to changing your diaper. That first time your naked ass crawled off the changing pad and started a game of giggling chase what did I do? That's right, I laughed until tears streamed down my face. And it's still hilarious to this day. But it's also the reason changing your diaper is a real pain in the butt. I ask you though, how is it possible to get mad at a face like this?

Cake Walk

2010-03-01T10:16:00.000-08:00

Dave was lucky enough to catch the little man strutting his machine gun stuff around the living room this morning.

10 months

2010-02-07T07:03:00.000-08:00

Dear North,

Although I'm glad to see January gone for the year, it's bittersweet to find myself on the morning of your ten month birthday and know you are one month closer to being a year old. Lately, I find myself rocking you in my arms before naps and bedtime because I know you won't let me cuddle with you this way for much longer. The realization that your time as a baby is waning is so evident to me in your achievements. I already see you more as a little boy now than my tiny baby.

You're right on the verge of walking. Maybe some would even say you are walking, just very badly. Our living room is often situated like an obstacle course made up of your toys. You cruise along the couch and pivot to the ottoman to make your way to your Jeep and over to the fireplace hearth. It's hard to get anything accomplished because I find myself constantly interrupted watching to see what you are doing. I love the concentration on your face as you will your foot to take that step away from the security of whatever you are holding. Even when you fall, you impress me with your resilience. Thank goodness for your well padded bottom.

Your favorite game is to crawl around and around the ottoman playing peek-a-boo with us.

You have developed some strange fears in the last few months: the hairdryer, the coffee grinder, girl babies, to name a few. Last month, you played hard to get when one of your girlfriends came over to visit.

Most days, you happily play independently, rummaging through your toy basket and eventually covering every square inch of living room with your colorful baubles. Your playmate is Mr. Foot, an orange large-footed stuffed Seussian character (not to be confused with Lamby, your sleepy time love) and you'll carry him with you from toy to toy.

Occasionally, you will take a break from play and help me with the internets or assist me in folding laundry. You even helped me put your toys away a few days ago. We may need to start discussing allowance soon.

A new personality has emerged in you in the last month, we call it Evil North. You've always happily jibber jabbered to yourself during play, but every now and then it takes on a dark tone. I haven't been able to catch it on video in all it's glory. But your voice gets very low and sinister like a witchdoctor, as you utter incantations and presumably cast spells on us. The video shows your range and ability to go from Evil North straight into Pterodactyl Boy without missing a beat. (The volume needs to be up to actually hear Evil North.)

Today, I noticed the tulip tips are starting to sprout from the ground. They are always my favorite indicator of spring being right around the corner. But this year, they are also counting down to the anniversary of the day you arrived. Even nature is preparing to celebrate that day for you.

Mighty

2010-01-25T14:39:00.000-08:00

"His intercourse with heaven and earth, becomes part of his daily food. In the presence of nature, a wild delight runs through the man, in spite of real sorrows." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

January has been a sad month truth be told. I think we are all feeling it. There are devastating things happening to good people all around the world and closer to home to people I love dearly.

I like to believe it is human instinct to want to help anyone forced to deal with such loss and yet it is also common to feel powerless to help in any real tangible way. I always wish that I could take on the pain of that person to lesson their burden. If only pain was something you could pick up and carry around for someone to lighten their load.

Today, as I pushed the stroller full of North around the neighborhood, the wind kicked up along the road. It filled my ears with exhilarating swooshes and felt almost warm against my skin even though the sun was falling fast. During a few more furious gusts, gumballs were flying around like lottery balls, threatening to velcro themselves to our fuzzy heads as they fell to the ground. If Jake, our dog, had been with us, he would already have a handful sticking to him. Gumballs stick to him like he was a cotton ball with legs running through a cactus patch. But he was at home while we were forced to dodge the stroller through the puddles of gumballs now littering the road.

There is nothing like being immersed in the power of the nature to remind yourself that you are alive. The wind felt like a physical being that could be reined in and ridden through the sky if only I had brought a lasso. It felt both wild and familiar, like memories swooshing by. I like to think that energy I felt was the spirit of all of those who have met their physical earthly end. But that energy will always live on.

Rest in peace Willie "Bill" Henderson.

9 Months

2010-01-07T13:53:00.000-08:00

Dear North,

You are a very busy guy these days. There are not enough minutes in the day for all that you'd like to get done. For sure, you are your father's son. Most of your days are spent moving furniture and vehicles around the living room. I'm not sure if you were a valet or a worked for a moving company in a past life, but I'm considering getting you a lower back support so you don't hurt yourself.

I have to take credit for your bizarre outfit in the following clip. I often tease your dad for the way I find you dressed, but this one is all me and I'm sorry. It could be worse though. I took a video of you the other day where you were totally naked except for a pair of blue and green flamed legwarmers and you were flash dancing all over the living room. So I would advise you to be nice to me, my dear son.

One of my favorite things right now is going to get you when you've woken up after a nap. From upstairs, I'll hear the sound of you babbling, "da da da da bido iyeeeeeeee!" and turning your musical aquarium off and on. When I go to retrieve you, you're normally standing holding onto the bars of your baby prison and looking up at me as if to say, "lemme outta here warden, I done my time. I been in here for 60 minutes. I'm a changed baby I tell ya!" Other times you seem to be numb to your lot in life and can be found banging your binkie along the bars of your crib and making up nonsense songs to anger the guards.

You are now eating finger foods almost exclusively: pizza, grilled cheese, sweet potatoes, pasta, ham, vegetables, chicken, muffins, and your favorite, cheerios. When things aren't going your way and crying ensues, a simple cheerio can often bring you out of your misery. I guess they are a well named food after all.

Another food that makes you LOSE YOUR MIND is yogurt. A couple of weeks ago, you would start squealing as soon as I pulled the yogurt container out of the fridge. That was the same time that you started begging at our feet for food like a little pauper. Our meals were spent avoiding eye contact with the three sets of doleful eyes of our begging mammals. I'm pretty sure Jake and Luna formed an alliance to off you at one point because they didn't appreciate the competition. But Jake has since decided he likes you now that he is your highchair cleaner upper. I'm afraid Luna is still plotting to steal your breath in your sleep though. I bet she would forgive all of your transgressions, even the tail grabbing incident, if you would share some of your yogurt with her.

But who am I kidding, we both know that's not going to happen.

Changing your diaper has been a challenge for some time, but recently, it has become a hilarious game to you. You cry as soon as I lay you down on the floor. But the millisecond that diaper is off, you flip yourself onto your belly and take off like roadrunner. If roadrunner was a naked giggling little boy anyway. You get about two feet away, sit up and look back at me to make sure I'm chasing you. Then you squeal/scream in delight and you're off once again. Rinse. Repeat. Yesterday, you made it into the kitchen, stopped and sat there with a silly grin on your face, but no giggles. Turns out, that's the face you make when you're peeing.

Out with a bang

2009-12-31T17:55:00.000-08:00

Before my time runs out, I wanted to throw together some quick clips from the holidays. I had intentions of writing a nice gushy letter detailing the many things I am thankful for, but instead the short guy picked up a cold over Christmas and my last week has been spent washing my hands raw. Meanwhile, my poor boy has transformed into a 20 pound snail leaving a trail of snot in his wake. I wish I could throw my whole living room in the dishwasher because cleaning everything manually feels so last century to me. Between the snot plague and being part of the 10 % of the population that has actually had to work in the last week, time got away from me. But I am not bitter. No! Really, I'm not. The silver lining to a sick baby is a cuddly baby you see.

Now on to the good stuff. Happy New Year everyone!

Merry Christmas Easter Bunny!

2009-12-21T07:18:00.000-08:00

Oatmeal Cranberry Raisin Spice Cookie

2009-12-16T10:44:00.000-08:00

If you need a cheap, but thoughtful gift for someone on your Christmas list, these cookie gift jars are easy to make. And everybody likes cookies right? Well, except Nazis. So if you have a Nazi on your Christmas list, you might want to stick with a swastika embroidered oven mitt. But everyone else would probably love these oatmeal spice cookies

1 cup flour mixed with

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

1 teaspoon baking soda and

1/2 teaspoon sale

2 cups old fashioned oats

3/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar

3/4 cup raisin, cranberry, dried apple or the like

1/2 cup white sugar

Layer ingredients in order given in a one quart wide-mouth canning jar. Gently press each layer before adding the next one.

Decorate jar and add this gift tag:

Oatmeal Cranberry Raisin Spice Cookie Mix

Empty jar of cookie mix into large mixing bowl and combine. Add 1 1/4 stick melted butter, 1 egg and 1 teaspoon vanilla extract. Mix until blended. For best results, chill for at least a half hour. Shape into balls. Bake at 350 degrees for 10-12 minutes or until edges are slightly browned. Cool a few minutes before removing from cookie sheet. Makes about 3 dozen.

Nonessential baby items

2009-12-12T05:49:00.000-08:00

A few months ago, Melissa left a comment wanting to get some information on what baby gear we regularly used and what sat around collecting dust. Sorry it took so long to get this written! But here is my take on it.

Disclaimer: What I'm about to share is intended only as helpful advice to new mothers based on my experience. I encourage any expecting mom to keep their baby purchases to a minimal level (especially in terms of clothing) to avoid wasting money. I also would buy as much of the baby gear secondhand as possible and return gifts that you do not think will be used for something more practical. And remember, going to the store is still possible after the baby is born!

Items that went to waste:

Multiple types of bottles & pacifiers---Maybe I would feel differently about this if I fed North formula from the get-go, but I only had 2 different bottles for him at birth. Dr. Brown's and some Playtex drop-in that was a free gift. We have only ever used 2 Dr. Brown's bottles that we wash after each use. As for pacifiers, he got a Soothies at the hospital and later on, I switched him to the MAM pacifier. There is no need to prepare for the what-ifs. But if you must, keep everything in the packaging and save the receipts so you can return it down the road if necessary.

Hooded towels---Sure they are adorable, but after a few months, they're just not big enough to use anymore. Buy 1 for cute infant pictures and save your money.

Dreft---I do love the smell of this stuff. But there are so many brands of truly baby friendly detergents out there that are better for baby's skin than Dreft, not to mention much cheaper.

Receiving blankets & burp clothes---We could have easily gotten by with a 6 pack each of receiving blankets and burp clothes. Unless you never plan on doing laundry again, there is no reason to have much more than that. We used the blankets we stole from the hospital mainly because the receiving blankets from the store always seem too small for the task (swaddling, shading baby in carseat, etc).

Clothes---The most stressful thing to me is trying to get all the clothes on the baby before he outgrows them and they go to waste. We have found that we seem to rotate about 6-8 outfits on him unless we make a concerted effort to put other clothes on him. I feel very wasteful when I think about all the items he only wore once.

Baby wash and lotion---You really only need one of each to start out with and this stuff lasts forever. Seriously, North will be in his 40s before he uses up the stock pile of baby wash that was gifted to him.

Bumbo---Unless someone gives you one, I wouldn't buy one. I mean, I like having ours, but it's an expensive piece of foam. Maybe buy it used if you just have to have it.

Although it was not part of the question, here are some items that many moms now wished they would have registered for:

Safety items
Convertible car seat
6+ months clothing (if you live in predictable climate)
Toys
Exersaucer
Feeding items
Books

8 Months

2009-12-07T04:08:00.000-08:00

Dear North,

Everyone has been warning me of how quickly the time passes when you watch your child grow; but here I am astounded that you're eight months old already. In the past month, you've started crawling at the speed of light, pulling up on everything, falling down continuously and exploring anything you can get your little paws on.

While I think the change in you is awesome, I'm tired just thinking about the effort it takes to keep an eye on you these days. You gravitate towards the very objects that are the most lethal. There is a basket of toys in our baby-proofed living room, but you prefer to venture off into the more dangerous parts of the house seeking out power cords, the dog's water bowl or the towering antique fire extinguisher. You are a baby on a mission and that mission seems to be to inflict as much pain on yourself as possible.

I often amuse myself by pretending you are a safety inspector pointing out all the possible dangers in our home. "OK ma'am, I think I found your problem. See this cord here, an unsuspecting baby could bite into this, like so. Or the baby could pull on the cord like I'm doing now and BOOM the TV falls on him. Or maybe the baby accidentally gets the cord around his neck. See how easy that was for me to do? Ma'am, you really need to take care of some dangers in the house before someone gets hurt.....oops, uh Ma'am, it appears I have created a turdle in my diaper, could you possibly remove that for me?"

Unfortunately, with all this new mobility, comes an onslaught of scrapes and bruises. Somehow, it's always your face that takes the brunt of the punishment. Maybe because you have such ample padding everywhere else? But you take the fall like a stoic little soldier and only cry when it is a particularly hard landing. Your father and I try not to react when you crash land, having learned quickly that you look to us for a reaction as if to say, "should I cry now?"

You've become a much better eater lately and you've even started gobbling up a few table foods like cheese, peas and pancakes. Every Sunday morning your dad makes blueberry pancakes and now you are a part of our favorite family tradition too! Watching you chow down on tiny fistfuls of pancake this past Sunday made my heart soar thinking about all the future pajama-clad mornings that lie ahead. We have at least eighteen years worth of pancakes to eat with you and I plan on savoring each and every delicious bite.

Thirty four

2009-11-23T03:55:00.000-08:00

It took 34 years, but I think I'm officially an adult now. Dave's parents stayed with us on Friday night and there was an early birthday cake involved. But I forgot to make a wish as I blew out the candles. Last year, I wished for a healthy baby. The year before that, I wished for a pregnancy. I now have everything I've ever wanted, so no more wishing is necessary.

My birthday has been just another day to me for quite a few years now. I don't say that in a sad way. Ninety five percent of the time, the weather outside is either rain or snow, which helps to explain the pensive way the day gets spent. I tend to just go about my business as usual and often spend it quietly reflecting on the last year. Kind of like my own private VH1 year end wrap up if you will. This year, I cannot wait to get home and enjoy the rainy day cuddling with a certain pants peeing little boy while we wait for daddy to return. He defines the last year of my life perfectly.

This morning as I got ready for work, I could hear North stirring in his crib. His latest habit upon waking is to pull himself up by the wooden bars and chatter away until you come in to rescue him from his crib prison. As I was quickly pulling my hair into a ponytail, I could hear his chatter over the monitor and I swear I heard a "Awuwuuhappybirthdaymamaawuwua" thrown in there. That kid melts me into a puddle. Thanks baby for showing me the joy I brought with me when I was born into the world many moons ago.

Focaccia Bread

2009-11-16T16:11:00.000-08:00

With the cooler weather upon us...okay...I've got to be honest, I went for a walk yesterday in shorts and a tank top. Little North was strapped to me and actually fell asleep in his carrier as we walked. His legs still kicked with every step I took. I guess babies sleep walk too. I cupped my upper arm around his head, slowed my pace and savored every detail of his sweet slumber.

I had to share that moment. But that's not why I started writing this post. I wanted to share a yummy recipe for focaccia bread to help transition into you into cooler temperature foods. I've already made a few batches of soup and this bread fits so perfectly with it. I tried three different recipes, each of which turned out tasting like pretzel, cracker and finally, bread. Funny thing is that we enjoyed all of them with our soup, even the batch that was more like hardtack. But what follows is the recipe for the bread version. Enjoy!

Focaccia Bread

1 (1/4 ounce) packet active dry yeast
1 cup warm water (105-115 degrees)
1 tsp. white sugar
2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup wheat flour (or you can just use all white flour)
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1 teaspoon dried basil
dash crushed red pepper
1 dash black pepper
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons grated parmesan cheese
1/4 cup mozzarella cheese

Mix the yeast, sugar and water in a small bowl. Allow to sit for 10 minutes until bubbles begin to form. In large mixer bowl, stir together flour, salt, garlic powder, thyme, basil, crushed red pepper and black pepper. Add the yeast mixture and vegetable oil to the dry ingredients and combine on low speed. When dough has pulled away from the sides and is sticky to the touch, plop it onto a floured surface and knead only until smooth and elastic. Oil a glass mixing bowl, put the dough in the bowl and coat the dough with the oil by turning it in the bowl. Cover with a damp cloth and allow it to rise in a warm place for 30 minutes. Preheat over to 425 degrees. Punch down the dough in the bowl and dump it onto a greased standard baking sheet. Pat dough until it covers the entire baking sheet. Brush the top with olive oil and sprinkle with parmesan and mozzarella cheese. Bake for 10-13 minutes until the cheese browns.

7 Months

2009-11-06T11:23:00.000-08:00

Dear North,

You are officially seven months old and still our happy giggling little baby. My favorite time of day is when I open the front door at lunch time and hope for you to be awake. Often I find you bouncing happily in the doorway of the office while daddy works. Or you might be rolling around the office trying to make your way to one of the pets or kissing your reflection in the metal diaper pail.

You also love to play a game with your dad where he pretends to chase you as you bounce/run away from him. We could listen to your little squeals and giggles all day long.

Your personality has somewhat taken a turn towards stubbornness, which might be explained by the fact that you are an Aries. Sometimes, you are kind of a baby and throw a fit when you don't get your own way. Curiosity draws you to the very objects you are not supposed to have and then when I retrieve said deadly object from your tiny paw, you freak out. I'm not sure of the best way to deal with this new behavior. I mean, I want to teach you early on that you can't always get what you want. But then I remember that you're only 7 months old and logic does not work on you. So normally, I opt to distract you out of your distress by making farting sounds with my mouth or whistling.

Earlier today, your father managed to stave off a tantrum by putting a magazine a few feet in front of you. You are infatuated with paper. You have started hybrid crawling, which is part rolling, a little bit of leg dragging and actual crawling used in combination to hilariously and awkwardly get you where you want to go. This new development is amazing to watch as you huff and puff and focus all of your energy on the task of moving. You are one determined little guy already. You are going to be more of a handful as each new day dawns.

Two bottom teeth have sprouted up in the last month, which has made uninterrupted sleep a distant memory. That's not really a new development though. Pain does not seem to be your thing and we can tell the days when your teeth are hurting because you become one sad little puppy. When you feel yucky, you like to keep us in sight as much as possible. The only thing that seems to help is cuddling. And whiskey.

Now that you have some teeth, I've been transitioning you away from purees and towards chunky mushed up food. The process is both comical and painful. Occasionally, you make a sort of choking noise, much like a cat coughing up a hairball when the new texture first hits your tongue. The choking noise is often preceded by a face that cringes as if to say, "why are you feeding me toe jam?" Needless to say, tears have been shed during the dinner hour. Again, this is a new area of parenting where I'm winging it. I'm afraid to give you a bad association with a food by making you finish it and yet, I refuse to waste food either. The thing is North, you cannot live on sweet potatoes, carrots and squash your whole life. I worry about you turning orange if I allowed such habits to form. You don't want to become an oompa loompa do you? I'm not a rascist or anything but in the real world, people just use oompa loompas for their proximity to chocolate rivers. I just don't want to see you degraded by some candy factory recluse and forced to dance while singing rhyming fables. You deserve a better life than that my son. So please start eating green foods for mama okay?

Halloween Recap

2009-11-05T17:22:00.000-08:00

This year we made up for the last year's lackluster Halloween with multiple celebrations and costumery. For starters, there was a certain little monkey we found hanging out in the pumpkin patch we keep on our deck.

On Friday night, I met up with some friends for the annual Zombie Lurch in downtown Durham. This pic is minus the blood because I had to drive and didn't want to stickify my vehicle, but Jake seemed to like it. A lot.

Then there was Halloween proper. We helped some friends hand out candy at their house because they get a ton of trick or treaters. My friend lured the kids towards the house with her Shakespearean / Nazi-esque accent, while I occasionally let out a scary cackle. Most of the kids graciously accepted our sideshow with good humor. But fortunately, a few of the kids thought our act was a bit tired and perhaps lame. So if we deemed them of appropriate age and guilty of the crime of either greed or rudeness, the scarecrow previously leaning against a tire in the driveway came to life and chased them screaming down the road. Best. Halloween. Ever.

Note to future self: cut up a sheet next year and North can be a mummy. Most frugal and creative costume of the night!

Because everyone really is a winner

2009-10-28T04:21:00.000-07:00

By the looks of this picture, I should be taking a nap. Hello bags under my eyes! But I'm not, I'm making cookies! Just in time for the spooktacular holiday that is upon us, I wanted to share the most delicious and easiest pumpkin cookie recipe with you. So easy is this recipe that you could make it with as little as 2 ingredients: one box of spice cake mix and one 15 oz. can of pumpkin.

But here in the Killer household I like to kick things up a notch; not to mention plagiarize the catchphrases of the Food Network chef that is annoying me the most that day. I also like to make things difficult and to get rid of things that have been taking up space in my pantry. Point is, if you are feeling saucy and throwing these cookies together, you might want to try adding in any of the following: chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, walnuts, pecans, cranberries, raisins, a touch of orange zest or cream cheese frosting on top.

Because it's Halloween, I wanted to make mine chocolatey. I lurve chocolate.

Here's the recipe I used:

1 box spice cake mix
1 15 oz. can pumpkin

1/2 bag semi sweet chocolate chips
1/2 bag butterscotch chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Now this is the hard part, open the spice cake mix and dump it into your mixer bowl. Are you still with me? Now open the can of pumpkin and plop it on top of the cake mix. In that order! Geez, do you want worlds to collide if you happened to put the pumpkin in first? Now turn your mixer on slowly! Let the magic combine and then add in the chips. BAM! Cookie dough!

Grease your cookie sheet. Drop the cookie dough onto the sheet using a half filled ice cream scoop or a cookie scoop if you're a fancypants. Bake 9 to 12 minutes. Allow to cool for a few minutes before removing them to cool on your wire rack or as we like to call it, paper towel. Once they are cooled, package them up and give them to that nice Sonya girl. Oh nevermind, I don't need anymore...(makes about 2 dozen)

And the winner is....

2009-10-26T13:00:00.000-07:00

So this whole blog contest thing was probably not my best thought out plan. Even though North did pick the winner's name a little while ago, I now have to ask that person to send me her address so I can mail out her grab bag of happy things. It also never occurred to me that a six month old baby would not really understand the concept of picking a name out of a hat. I mean, I explained it to him in very simple terms and he looked at me the whole time as if he was listening while sucking on his fists, so I thought we were good. The first run through took a good five minutes for him to drop the pile of paper he grabbed from the hat. For such little hands, he can fit quite a few slips of paper in them! But all of that effort was for naught and the winner of the trial run through was my mom. Although she deserves a prize every single day for all that she's done for us, this blog is more of a gift to her than anything I could buy in a store. Right mom?....ahem. Mom?

So I had North pick a new winner---Melissa! Oh, I also loved your idea about writing a post about non-essential baby items and it looks like you'll need this info sooner rather than later. I hope to get that on the blog soon for you. Congratulations! (I mean this more on that beautiful belly than for this silly little contest!)

Obligatory pumpkin pictures

2009-10-21T05:11:00.001-07:00

Last Saturday we woke up early, haha as if you couldn't have guessed as much considering I have a six month old pants pooper living with me. But anyway, we threw on some layers and hightailed it to some yard sales a few miles away. Unfortunately, we forgot to stop at the ATM along the way which cut our thrift shopping a little short. But it was just as well considering Mr. Littlepants was getting cold and bored. On the way home, we stopped at a pumpkin patch staged at a local church and let the kid loose on the gourds.

Yes, he's still wearing his pajamas in this picture. Guess I won't be winning any Mother of the Year Award anytime soon.

Speaking of contests, this is my 99 post! Things have been pretty busy in the Killer household so it took a little longer to get here than anticipated. Sorry about that. But my next post will announce the winner of the weird little thank you contest I'm running. There may even be video of North picking and attempting the eat the winner's name. Then I'll ask the winner to send me their address because I'm not a creepy internet person that knows how to track a computer's IP Address and find out where people live from a comment left on my blog. Details on all this to follow. Wow, I have goosebumps already.

On corning

2009-10-13T12:22:00.000-07:00

I could smell October in the air this morning as I tiptoed out the front door into the early morning darkness. It smelled wet, cold and slightly sweet with vegetable rot. The smell struck a memory and I recalled sneaking out of my mother's house when I was a mischievous thirteen year old. In those days, my girlfriends and I waited until the house went still with sleep. Then we suited up into our all black attire, grabbed our supplies and in slow motion soundlessly slipped out of the house. Once blanketed in the freedom of night, we ran through the neighborhood until the wee hours of morning corning as many houses as we could. Somehow, we never got caught. Even though of all the houses in the neighborhood, mine somehow managed to escape the bloody corn bath the others had fallen victim to the night before. No one ever put two and two together.

For those of you not brought up with a pastime as sophisticated as corning, allow me to explain. Corning is not throwing a full ear of corn at a house; that would be silly, wasteful and way too easy for the victim to clean up. Rather, the corn is in dried loose form. The 'corner' scoops a handful of the stuff and whips it as hard as he/she can at the 'cornees' house. An explosion of successful hits is then heard as the corner runs like hell on to the next house while the cornee turns on their porch light realizing they've just been corned. But alas, cornee, it is too late.

This corning phenomenon begs the question: who was supplying all of this dried loose corn to so many children? Is there a black market for corn in Western Pennsylvania and some son of a farmer spent his free time shucking and cutting corn off the ears to supply all of his rogue friends ammunition for their nighttime hijinks? If so, I bet that kid is rich now because every kid in my hometown corned a house at one time or another I'm sure.

Laugh all you want about corning, I think we were ahead of our time. Considering all the different forms of vandalism we could have chosen, corning is certainly the most green choice. For example, we could have been toilet papering houses and trees. What a mean thing to do to a tree anyway. From the tree's perspective, that's like hanging their dead brothers and sisters all over them. The horror! And have you seen the price of toilet paper these days? Only the spoiled rich kids could afford to partake in such pranks in the current bathroom tissue market. Even poor kids deserve to wreak a little havoc!

I need to explore this topic further and find out if kids raised in different parts of the country threw different vegetables than we did. Perhaps it's a regional thing and kids in Idaho throw potatoes at houses. Or kids in the south throw cotton and cigarettes? Maybe those hippies out in California throw flower seeds and patchouli? Does it extend beyond our American borders?Could it be a worldwide phenomenon?

My poor kid may never know the joys of corning though. With ethanol production and rising corn demand, I'm afraid kids will not be able to afford the black market corn prices any longer. But I will dazzle him with the stories of my youth and a time when corn was so abundant and cheap, kids threw it at houses to be funny.

6 months

2009-10-07T21:53:00.000-07:00

Dear North,

So here we are at month six of life with you and as usual, I'm blown away how quickly the time has passed. My constant wishing that I could lock you in time is becoming a little ad nauseam isn't it? I guess my fear is that I'll forget what you were like at each of these stages because as you grow you become a slightly different person than I thought you were last month. I suppose I might as well get used to it now though.

Maybe I'm spoiling you even though the baby books say that is nearly impossible this early in life. But I have a hard time putting you down sometimes. You're my little snuggle bug right now and I'm taking advantage of it while I still can. Maybe tomorrow instead of lifting your hand to touch my face or put your fingers up my nose as it were, you will slap my hugs away wanting to be put down so you can explore on your own. So I hug you tight each day and smother you with kisses while you'll still let me.

If later in life we discover that you are a good dancer, I'm just going to take credit for that now. You enjoy whirling me around the living room dance floor like a floating 24 inch tall Fred Astaire. You even dip me when you get into the groove. Maybe one day when you find yourself at a school dance nervous to step on your partner's feet, these early dance lessons will kick in and you'll whisk her away with your smooth moves. Hmm, maybe these dance lessons aren't such a good idea after all...

You spend your days chatting with your stuffed animals in your crib, chewing on various toys/my face/your appendages and rolling around on the floor. We're just at the point of needing to Northy-proof the house because you are getting so mobile. I will put you down on the floor, turn my back for an instant and the next thing I know, you are underneath the futon or have trapped yourself under your bouncy seat. Although you're not crawling yet, we are amazed at how independent you are becoming and what a little explorer you are.

You are already proving to be a helpful guy to have around the house. Yesterday, you were fussy, so I wore you as I vacuumed the house because you like to be close to us when you're upset. Actually, you were quite helpful and held onto the cord the entire time keeping it out of my way. I was shocked at how much you seemed to like vacuuming though when you started whimpering when I shut it off. I think you may have also developed my love of sweeping the back deck too. I often wear you as I sweep leaves too. It's so cute to watch you stick out your tiny hand and hold onto the broom with each swoosh. I wonder if in your mind it is you that is doing the sweeping? Do you think I work you too hard? Do we need to start talking allowance already?

This week I put away your summer baby clothes now that the cooler temperatures are upon us. The comfy sweaters and warm jeans are conspiring against me and pushing you to grow up faster than I can handle. Wearing them you look like a little boy. But like the summer temperatures, I'm not ready to let go of the past six months with my little baby just yet.
.

Behold my hammy child!

2009-10-06T04:00:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to share some quick video with all the grandmas out there needing a little Northy fix. Sorry the video quality is so poor, I was using my regular camera instead of the video camera which makes everything look like it was filmed in the 80s.

I finally started using my Moby Wrap with North when I take him on walks because the Bjorn makes my lower back ache now that he has become a chubster. The Moby is essentially a 10 foot long piece of stretchy fabric. It is a pain in the butt to put on and if you're OCD like me, it's a huge pain to fold up after each use. I do like it though and it is really comfortable.

I'm sure I would like the Moby a lot more if I was the type of person that could just leave it in a messy heap. But alas, my mother did not bring me up that way. She ironed the bed sheets when I was growing up if that helps to explain my psychosis at all. Her linen closet could make a grown man weep I tell you. I'm sure it makes Dave weepy in a "this is not my beautiful wife" kind of way with how often I nag him to fold the towels like I do and have them facing in the correct direction. It is a non-stop party in our house.

I took this video last night during bath time. This took many filming takes because North is an exhibitionist. Every time I covered his winky woo with the washcloth of modesty, he grabbed it and whipped it around until it ended up in his mouth the way everything does. Since his winker is going through an inverted phase, I thought I'd better make sure he was properly covered or it may give him just cause to stop speaking to me later in life.

What a difference a year makes

2009-09-29T04:19:00.000-07:00

So I've been adding to this blog for one whole year now. Go me. My goal was to have 100 posts by now, but alas, this only makes number 95. That whole raising a child thing threw a wrench in my big plans apparently.

You'd think after a year of doing this that I would have a better idea how to categorize this blog, but I don't. One day it might be all baby stories and the next it could be a recipe or some political rant that I have to get off my chest. I guess this blog is a grab bag or a box of chocolates if your mama was of the Forrest Gump school of thought. And every now and then I'll probably write something that tastes as crappy to you as whatever those disgusting pink centered chocolates taste to me. But I hope to occasionally provide you with a delicious chocolate covered peanut or two as well.

Thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings over the last year. I've enjoyed reading your feedback and learning from your experiences in the comments section. My goal for 2010 (is it just me or does that sound far off into the future, like we should be flying around with jetpacks four months from now?) is to have more dialogue going on in the comments section. I just wish blogger made it a bit easier to leave feedback.

I'd like to run a little contest as a gesture of thanks. So please leave a comment on this post and I will randomly pick a winner to receive a grab bag of goodies picked out by yours truly and the almost six-month old baby North. But don't let his involvement deter you. I probably won't have him help me too much. Otherwise, the winner will get rewarded with very strange prizes like a wet washcloth, a beer bottle or some other random item that he currently covets. Maybe I'll write the names of anyone that leaves a comment on a piece of paper and put them in a hat. Whichever one North picks and attempts to eat is the winner.

Anyway, I'll pick a winner once I've made it to my goal of 100 posts. But really guys, you're all winners in my book.

Edited to add: Please be sure to leave at least your name with your comment so I can identify you. This whole running a contest thing is trickier than I thought it would be! But I'm having so much fun collecting little things that make me happy to send the winner, I might run these contests more often. Please bear with me as I figure out the best way to do this.

Kanye West saves America?

2009-09-17T10:30:00.000-07:00

Have you seen the video of Kanye West interrupting the VMA's country starlet, Taylor Swift's acceptance speech yet? I think we've all seen it yes? Can we all agree that Kanye West was way out of line and a douche bag?

I want to hear Democrats and Republicans agree on this people! Like it or not, even our president has been caught on tape calling Mr. West a jackass.

Can we all nod our heads in agreement with the leader of the free world on this? Let us all reach across the aisles, hold hands (?) apparently and know that our side is the side of truth. Kanye West is indeed a jackass for interrupting that sweet country singer as she accepted her award.

Mr. West will go down in history as the great uniter from this day forward. It's like he somehow realized all America needed was a cause all of the people could really get behind you know? He has since succeeded in bringing the American people back together; so in unison, the populous could proclaim him to be a douche. Thank you Kanye West. You may have saved America.

Your formatting stings

2009-09-15T13:55:00.000-07:00

Has the press pounded the 'lack of manners in the modern world' subject into the ground yet? Because I've got something to say about it! But no, I don't want to talk about Mr. Wilson, Mr. West or Ms. Williams. Except, is it something with the "W" last name? Typing them out like that, I'm seeing a pattern is all I'm saying.

My issue has to do with a certain freecycler that I recently corresponded with. He listed some mason jars as available on my local board along with some other confusing emails to the general group grumbling about "no shows" from the last time he listed these jars, etc. Anyway, I politely inquired as to the status of said mason jars, explaining that multiple posts were wrongly timestamped in my Inbox etc.

I received the response, "THEY ARE TAKEN."

I ask you sir, was it not good enough to yell at me? Did you have to spit on my face with the bold formatting too? Why did you take the time to not only caps lock but also bold your text? Meanie.

My gut inclination was to hit reply again and type
" OK THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" in 24 font comic sans---an effort to make his eyes bleed from such e-motion. I wanted to underline it, italicize it, even shade it if necessary! Color it purple perhaps? But I bit my hands and clicked my "X" instead. Today sir, I AM the bigger person!

I believe you need some classes in Anger Formatting Management.

Stuffed Delicata Squash

2009-09-15T04:18:00.001-07:00

This is a delicata squash. The outside flesh is edible and delicious so you don't have to worry about peeling it off before working with the squash. There are seeds inside that must be scooped out much like a butternut squash though. Still, the delicata squash is often overlooked, which is a shame because they are so easy to prepare.

Here is that same delicata squash filled with sausage stuffing cooking on the grill.

I cut the squash in half lengthwise and scooped out the seeds. Once the seeds were out, I couldn't resist filling up the little cavity I had created in it. So I grabbed some stuffing out of the pantry and prepared enough to fill up each cavity. Because I had it on hand, I also threw some sausage, tomatoes and onion in the pot of stuffing too.

I coated each squash half generously in olive oil, salt, pepper and garlic powder and threw them on the grill for 15 minutes at 350 degrees. You could also bake the squash cut side up in 1/2 inch of water for a half hour at 350 degrees in your over if you prefer. I stabbed them a bit with a fork to see if they were tender enough and took them off the grill. Then I stuffed them with the prepared stuffing and put some cheese on top before putting them back on the grill for another 5 minutes or so.

We have more delicata coming tomorrow from the CSA tomorrow. I'm thinking I might fill that cavity with rice and beans this week. Or maybe some garlic walnut quinoa?

5 Months

2009-09-09T05:24:00.000-07:00

Dear North,

The past month of your life has been the most challenging and the most rewarding so far. While your father and I are a little foggy with sleep deprivation from being up with you every hour or two through the night; you are wowing us during the daytime hours with all of your mad skills. Slowly, you are becoming more independent and interactive with the world beyond just us.

You hang out on your play pad and happily chatter at your stuffed animals as you play with your feet. I'd love to know what you are saying to them. You are probably telling them all about your awesome feet and how suckable they are I imagine.

If I had to guess what your favorite thing is right now, I'd say your big toes. Last week, I carried little naked you to your bath like a miniature yogi statue while you sucked on both big toes simultaneously.

You love to touch everything and put it in your mouth, not just your toes. Often, we carry you around outside to touch different plants which seems to calm you down when you're in a funk. I've never seen a child so fascinated by plants and we wonder if you will be a botanist or a landscape architect some day. But then, you seem to have a similar fascination with beer bottles too. So we're still narrowing down your career path at 5 months.

You enjoy spending your days drooling through clothes, giggling, smiling, squealing like a stuck pig, devouring oatmeal, petting Jake, pulling my hair, and beeping the horn of your Jeep walker as we push you around the house making traffic sound effects. Sometimes you even decide to take a nap.

We just got back from a trip to the Outer Banks over Labor Day. We arrived in Nags Head on Friday night hungry and frazzled after listening to you scream/cry for the last hour of the trip. I think you were just fed up with being confined in your car seat for so long. After we checked into our tiny room, I sat on the bed holding you in my lap and I smelled something unpleasant. Looking down at you, I saw poop had found its way out of your diaper onto me and the bed and you just sat there grinning up at me. Now that you only poop once or twice a week, when you do have a bowel movement it is a poop power explosion. And now that you're eating solids, they are stinky peanut butter consistency poops. They are very delicious to clean up when mom and dad are hungry.

So after we managed to get you all cleaned up, we decided I would get you to sleep while your dad went out and scrounged us up some food since it was already after 9:00 PM. He came back within 10 minutes carrying a pound of steamed shrimp and a huge container of rice and beans from Tortugas Lie. As your poopy diaper dried in the air conditioned breeze, we ate a romantic dinner atop our makeshift cooler table serenaded by the sound of you crying a few feet away. It was one of the most delicious meals I have ever eaten and although it is absurd, it really was romantic to sit in such squalor and eat such fantastic food with the two people I love most in the world.

To all the haters

2009-09-08T10:17:00.001-07:00

I think there is a sickness spreading in the world to be against something simply for the sake of being against it. I don't know where it stems from, but I'm noticing a trend of behavior in people to get bent out of shape over the most innocuous of subjects. I see it on message boards and blogs all the time where it's referred to as "flaming." People seem to get drunk on the power of their own aggression. Often armed with online anonymity, they'll spout off their vitriol about, well, pretty much anything.

The latest aim of these hater's ire is the pregnancy time lapse video, like the video Dave made of me during my pregnancy. A Canadian website found our video and contacted Dave last week to get his insight into why we made the video and posted it on youtube. Seems innocent enough right? We are mentioned in this article (although if I was her editor, I would have cut this part out entirely, as it has nothing to do with her overall theme. Kind of like this little aside of mine. Ahem.) What I find interesting is not so much the article itself, but some of the comments it is generating. I can fathom the comments that call the creators of these videos navel gazers. Haha, because you know, that's precisely what it is watching the expanding belly grow. Some people are not so kind though and refer to anyone that would make a pregnancy video as an "exhibitionist" and "egocentric". Mmm okay, a bit strongly worded, but I'll take that. Then there are a couple of haters calling the time-lapse videos "vulgar" and "disgusting". Huh? Are we on the same planet?

Our motivation for making the video was for documentation purposes. We wanted to make it accessible to our friends and family that live far away. Moreover, I want our child to be able to see this video and know that the expanding belly he sees in the video is the start of his life. Any pregnancy is a blessing and a miracle. How do those naysayers think they were brought into the world? Anyone that cannot find beauty in these videos must be in a sad state indeed. I truly pity them.

I pity them in the same way that I felt sorry for the conservative zealots that contacted their child's school and demanded Obama's back to school speech be boycotted. They were outraged that Obama was attempting to "indoctrinate students with his socialist agenda". The speech, given this morning, stresses the importance of hard work, staying in school, personal responsibility and accountability. (For a full transcript of the speech, here's a link to Fox News's coverage and some scary comments from quite a few zealots that have overdosed on some right wing flavored hate kool aid.) Of course, I defend any one's right to say and believe what they want to believe no matter how self defeating or ignorant I find their opinions to be. But it still makes me sad.

Even when you try to do good, some one's panties are going to get wadded up over it. What a pitiful state of affairs.

Beach and beer

2009-09-04T04:58:00.000-07:00

For those keeping score at home, North is winning the War on Sleep. I'm not complaining, just stating facts. I now think that he is teething. But what I think changes every day. Have you noticed? I'm sure next week I will be convinced that the feng shui of the room is making sleep impossible for him or that his mullet is keeping him from sleeping.

In other news, we are headed to the Outer Banks this afternoon to spend the holiday weekend with family and friends. We're going down a day early because of the most delicious lemongrass wheat beer in the world sold at this Outer Banks Brewing Station. Per their website, they are America's first wind powered brew pub. The restaurant space doubles as a stage for bands to play at night. While guests enjoy their meal, they are free to marvel at the brewing equipment visible through windows adjacent to the lower dining room. It's a cool place to check out if you find yourself in the neighborhood. Even if you just pop your head in to use the bathroom (decorated in repurposed romance novel covers) or to buy a growler of beer. The food is delicious, but the beer, the beer is amazing.

I'll leave you with pictures of what our following days will be filled with.

Feet sucking!

Baby sharks!

cry-i-i-ing over you

2009-08-29T07:17:00.000-07:00

Today has turned out to be day one of "Cry It Out" sleep training for North. He just spent the last hour crying and wailing from his crib. During the first twenty minutes or so, Dave and I took turns going to comfort him silently and without picking him up. He would settle down temporarily, but would start wailing as soon as we left the room again. Knowing he had just been fed and had a fresh diaper, we eventually stopped going in to comfort him. Listen to me justify that fact that we are NOT bad parents for letting him cry! I hated every moment of it, but he's FINALLY asleep.

He was quite a good sleeper in infancy as I've mentioned before. Argh! I knew talking about it would jinx it! Right around three and a half months, he was really putting up a fuss one night at bedtime. I opened the door to his room and he turned toward the light, saw me, and stopped crying. Of course, at the time, I thought how sweet that he stopped crying when he saw me. I got all Sally Field and exclaimed in my head, "he likes me! He really likes me!" Hi, I'm stupid. Ever since that switch went off that told him crying = mom and dad come in, his sleeping has regressed and then regressed some more. What started off as him getting up every 2-3 hours has now become every 1-2 hours. I can tell you with certainty that when you get up at 5:00 AM and have been up 4-5 times throughout the night, the "Cry It Out" method starts to make a lot more sense.

There is a lot of controversy about "Cry It Out" though and some people would have you believe you are a bad parent for attempting it. I can tell you that hearing North cry for the last hour was the hardest thing I've had to do thus far. I don't think parents take the decision to try this sleep method lightly, we didn't anyway. I've been thinking about using this sleep training method for weeks and attempted it, only to fail, pick him up and hold/feed/rock him until he finally fell asleep. It physically pains me to hear him cry, as I think it does any parent. Point is, "Cry It Out" is not for everyone. But we have to try to teach him how to soothe himself so we can start to get some sleep again. As much as I hate admitting it, sleep deprivation really does take a physical toll after awhile. Damn you body limitations!

I've been beating myself up for the last week thinking we are to blame for his sleep issues (and you know, we are really). At first I thought our routine was not strict enough. Then I thought maybe I was not feeding him enough. And finally I realized that I needed to stop listening to every one's opinions about how they raised their baby and figure out what my son needs. I need to stop comparing North to other babies and myself to other mothers. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate any advice given to me from another mother. I have learned a great deal through the insight of other moms. But to blame myself when what worked for someone else doesn't have any impact on solving our sleep issues is silly. I cannot cram our life and my baby into another family's situation and expect to get the same results they did every time.

I also need to kick this guilt habit to the curb once and for all. Thanks Catholicism! So there you have it, I've admitted to using "Cry It Out" sleep training on my child and made fun of my Catholic upbringing all in the same post! Bring on the flames!

Solid

2009-08-25T04:06:00.000-07:00

North has officially started eating solid food. We actually tried it a few weeks ago when he started waking up multiple times through the night. But after a couple of days of rice cereal before bed, he was still waking up through the night. Realizing how much more time consuming cereal is to prepare, we decided to hold solids off for a few more weeks, especially if they weren't satisfying him. Then North went from waking up every three hours to every two hours. Yeah, momma can't keep doing that and hope to function. So here we are attempting solids again!

He is a good little eater so far. Well, except for weeping through his breakfast yesterday. So we have decided to just start with an evening feeding for now and work up to twice a day. He often smiles through his meal regardless of the fact that his mouth is full of mush. Then the mush oozes out of the sides of his mouth and down his face where I catch it with the spoon and feed it to him again. Mmm recycled food.

Three days into eating solids and he's still waking up every two hours though. We're still hopeful that introducing solids now will help though. Now for the disclaimers:

-I'm really not complaining, just stating a fact that I miss solid chunks of sleep. Honestly, I enjoy being up with him through the night. Just, you know, not this many times in one night.

-I know that we're lucky he goes right back to sleep once he eats. I realize that I might look back on this post from some future point when he's teething and wailing through the night and think "what a simpleton I was to think I knew what tired was when he was merely getting up every two hours!" Maybe this is Mother's Nature's way of building up my sleep deprivation tolerance for some new phase that is right around the corner? That bitch!

-You cannot get used to the current behavior of your child because they will turn on you in time. That's right, you child's directive is to destroy you. I joke. What I mean is, every time I think I figure something out about North, he changes. So I've stopped trying to figure him out and just go with it.

-I'm just going to shut up now.

Sun Pickles

2009-08-21T05:51:00.000-07:00

I got another double share this week from my CSA. That means I've got a ton of vegetables to use up in a short amount of time. So I scoured the internet tubes for an easy pickle recipe that could be completed during one baby nap. I found a recipe that uses the power of the sun rather than hours on a stove top and I tweaked it to my taste and what was in my pantry. I opened the jars for a taste test last night after they had been sunning for only two days. The pickles were already pretty tasty. With confidence, I bring you:

Sun(ya) Pickles

pint size mason jars with lids (old food jars work well too)
4 cups water
2 cups white vinegar
1/8 cup sea salt
1 teaspoon dill
1 tablespoon garlic powder
1 tablespoon seasoned salt
1 tablespoon celery salt
6-10 cloves of garlic, sliced thin
10-15 medium sized cucumbers, quartered lengthwise
2-3 jalapeno peppers, optional

Scrub cucumbers and peppers and rinse thoroughly. Place vinegar, water and sea salt in saucepan and bring it to a boil. Meanwhile, quarter the cucumbers and cut up the peppers and garlic. Add half of the dill, garlic powder, seasoned salt, celery salt and garlic to the jars. Pack the pickles and peppers into the jars. Then top with the other half the spices and garlic.

Once brine comes to a boil, remove from stove and pour over the cucumbers until the jar is full. Top with lid and shake. Place full jars outside in the sun for 3 days, turning a couple times a day. After 3 days of sun, put pickles in refrigerator. Pickles will stay fresh for up to 1 year.

Fruity Nutso Baked Oatmeal

2009-08-21T03:52:00.000-07:00

Warning: This post contains the words breastfeeding and milk. It also contains the word oatmeal, which is delicious.

When I knew I was going to breastfeed, I researched foods that would be good for me to eat to help with milk supply issues. So far, I have had success drinking fennel tea and chamomile tea, especially when North was a newborn (thanks Sabine!) Gripe water often contains ginger, fennel, chamomile and bicarbonate. So it makes sense that drinking these teas would have a calming effect on a breastfed baby. Or maybe it's all placebo effect. I'm no scientist.

Beer is also said to help with mom's milk supply. Or at least that's what I tell myself when I'm sitting in my inflatable pool drinking an icy beer on a 95 degree day while North naps inside the house.

Another food that I use for its magical breastfeeding properties is oatmeal with fruit and nuts. The oatmeal and nuts are fantastic sources of protein. I have found that most of the extra calories I need for breastfeeding are best found in protein rich food. Starting off your day with so much protein can help to curb your appetite later in the day too.

As a matter of fact, two night ago, I forced Dave into a Wendy's drive thru at gunpoint because I needed a bacon cheeseburger at 9:00 PM. Cravings can be just as bad as the ones felt during pregnancy, especially if your child is going through a growth spurt.

But back to delicious oatmeal. I eat it almost every day. This recipe is so much better than the kindergarten paste oatmeal I sometimes have to eat at work. Once you try steel cut oats, you may never go back to quick oats again. You could use all steel cut oats in this recipe (increase the milk 1/4 cup if you do). I tweaked the recipe a bit so that I could get rid of some reserves of rolled oats in my pantry. Steel cut oats are also a bit expensive, but worth it. In case you have a hard time finding them, they are also called coarse-cut oats, Irish oats, or pinhead oats. The latter is kind of mean though.

I would recommend using peaches or pears for the fruit and almonds for the nuts. So so good! Dave even ate it with ice cream last night because he is trying to increase his milk supply too. Anyway, I'll shut up now, here's the recipe.

Fruity Nutso Baked Oatmeal

1 1/2 cups steel cut oatmeal
1 cup rolled oats
3 cups milk
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tsp. cinnamon
3/4 cup fruit (can be fresh, canned or dried)
1/2 cup nuts (walnuts, pecans and almonds work great)

Combine ingredients and let sit for 15 minutes. Pour mixture into a 9 X 13" glass baking dish. Bake for 45 minutes at 350 degrees. Leftovers can be refrigerated up to a week or frozen. Best served warm with milk. Serves 9.

Camping in the NC mountains

2009-08-11T04:20:00.001-07:00

North, you're going to be a fine camper one day. I could tell as soon as we got our camp set up and sat you down to relax in your chair that you already know exactly what makes camping so enjoyable. Being one with nature (beer), cooking on an open fire (beer), and unplugging from normal life make camping a favorite past time of ours.

We spent the past weekend camped in a small cabin off the Blue Ridge Parkway in the NC mountains. Dave and I went tent camping here when we first met five years ago over Memorial Day 2004. Funny to think we would be married a year later and have you five years later.

On Saturday afternoon we drove to Burnsville, NC, where there happened to be an Arts Festival in progress. But it also happened to be in a dry county, didn't allow dogs, had a lack of ATMs and did I mention no beer tents? So we had some barbecue and went on our merry way. We stopped at a train car that might have been some one's house on the way back towards camp. This picture has been dubbed North West.

Oh the fun we have with your name. It just never stops North!

We weren't going to stop at North Cove because you were sleeping. But I'm so glad we did. You were such a giggle monster. I'll always remember the sound of your giggles and delighted squeals as we overlooked the other mountains in the distance.

We hiked you through Linville Falls, where you were quite a flirt with the other hikers. Between you and Jake, we were perhaps a more popular attraction than the actual falls.

After a long day of walking, you needed a bath. So I finally got to use the inflatable sink my mom got me for Christmas when I was a teenager. I carried it around unopened for 15 years so that it would be nice and clean for you to bathe in. Who am I kidding? You really weren't even that dirty. I just wanted to get a picture of you in it.

Sadly, we had to leave our campin' cabin behind and head back east. But before we exited the parkway, we stopped for a quick picnic at the Blowing Rock exit. Nestled in amongst the rhododendrons and trees, we ate sandwiches and played with Superman while the world went by.

Four Months

2009-08-07T02:13:00.000-07:00

Dear North,

I can't believe it's August and you're already four months old. You're decidedly not a baby anymore. I watched your pooping video from when you were just a few weeks old yesterday and already I do not recognize that earlier version of you. I cannot imagine a you that doesn't smile, giggle, babble and flirt. Oh yeah, and fly.

Man, do you love to fly. Since you've realized that you're Superman, it's all you want to do. Your bib/cape flaps in the wind as you fly around the house stopping only occasionally to tap dance on the dog or the counter top. I guess you're a cross between Superman and Lord of the Dance.

Currently, you are going through what I'm guessing is a growth spurt or maybe it's the four month wakeful period I have read a bit about. Either way, you are up about every three hours through the night. Previously, you would only wake up one time, so your sleep regression took us by surprise. But I do not mind the sleep interruptions because I love spending that time with you before I have to go into work for the day. I will gladly give up a bit of sleep to stare at your tiny sleepy face cast in a soft blue light from the projection machine we use as a night light.

You still sleep in our room right now. Especially considering how much you're waking up, sharing a room with you just makes sense. This morning, you were hungry around 4:30 AM, but once you ate, you were not interested in going back to sleep. So you laid there and hummed with each breath you took. Every now and then, we would hear a soft half-hearted attempt at a cry followed by more humming. I've considered grabbing the video camera to record these moments so I don't forget them. But I have to trust that I can capture these moments in my mind's eye forever. I admit it, I may be having a bit of hard time transitioning you to your crib in the nursery. I just know that once you are in your own room, I can't turn back the clock and make you my tiny baby anymore.

I know I have said this every letter thus far, but I want to lock you in time right now. You are still so tiny but with an emerging personality that tickles us to no end. You giggle uncontrollably anytime you are tickled or zerberted. You are also becoming much more self-amused and independent when playing on your activity mat and or in your jumperoo. Changing your diaper is not so much a struggle to fight your kicking legs as it is a challenge to get your toes out of your mouth. You seem very fond of your feet and often you laugh and jibber jabber while playing with them. I think you've found a friend.

Speaking of friends, there is also your favorite baby that lives inside the mirror. This works as a great soothing tool for when you are upset. We just carry you to the mirror and if we can get you to actually open your eyes and stop wailing for a second, you see that highly attractive little person's reflection and instantly change to smiles as you flirt with him. I don't think you realize that it's you yet.

We spend a lot of time in front of the mirror when you are not upset too. Sometimes, it is the easiest way for me to see your face. Because you still love perching on my shoulder facing backwards for hours a day, every now and then I carry you to a mirror just so I can see your face light up in smiles as you see our reflection. So there it is, I miss you even when I'm holding you in my arms.

Easy Stuffed Peppers

2009-07-28T04:41:00.000-07:00

I compared my method of making stuffed peppers with other recipes online to see if anyone had any better ideas on the subject. So you could say I'm an expert now. Or I could say it for you. I can't declare my recipe the most delicious, but I can tell you that it's simple and requires the least amount of work and dirty dishes at the end of the day. You probably have most of the ingredients in your pantry already:

6 medium peppers, rinsed and cored

46 ounces tomato juice

1/2 cup dry rice, prepared according to directions

1 cube chicken bouillon

1 pound ground turkey

1/3 cup bread crumbs

1/3 cup finely diced onion

2 cloves garlic

worcestershire sauce

1 tsp. ground cumin

salt and pepper

Prepare your rice according to the directions. I throw a chicken bouillon cube in with the water and rice for a little more fla-vah. While that is cooking, rinse and core your peppers. You know, speaking of researching other recipes online beforehand, one particular recipe instructed me to cut the top inch of the pepper off and discard. Holy waste of pepper! Instead, I used a tiny pairing knife and cut a circle around the stem until it pulled up. Then I used my fingers to get all the seeds and gave the inside a quick rinse. Perhaps a little more work, but much less wasteful.

Once your rice is finished cooking, throw it in with the raw ground turkey, bread crumbs, onion, garlic, worcestershire sauce, cumin and seasoning. Combine it---use your hands, they're the best cooking tool you have. Stuff the peppers with the meat mixture and set them in a large pot. I also stuffed a yellow squash and a tomato, for fun. Weeeeee! Pour tomato juice over the peppers. Maybe fill the spaces between the peppers, with the squash entrails, chopped tomatoes and or some cut up potatoes for a one pot meal. Like the way I used a pot lid for a plate? Classy right? You should come to my house where I make guests eat directly out of the pot so as not to dirty any dishes.

I cooked these on the stove top, covered on medium low heat for about an hour. Top with cheese and eat.

Behold our consignment sale booty

2009-07-27T05:00:00.000-07:00

There is a huge local consignment sale twice a year that is held in a warehouse on the Raleigh fairgrounds. This is the second sale we've attended, the first one being back in January. Although we didn't pick up nearly the amount of stuff we did last time, we still ended up with $80 worth of stuff. Loot breakdown: $1-$2 shirts and pants, $12 doorway jumper, $10 Floppy Seat grocery cart/high chair cover, $2 bottle rack, $2 bath toys, $2 life vest, $2 green monster mirror.

Dave has been a super dad both times and gone alone in the morning as soon as the doors open to get the best selection. But such selection comes with a price, especially as people are looking to save money more desperately recently. Between the throngs of people and the sheer amount of stuff piled high on tables as far as the eye can see, it can consume a huge chunk of your day. I mean, they give you a map when you enter the building for heaven's sake.

I met him when I got out of work at 12:00. I quickly picked up a few things we needed but had forgotten to add to his list and we sorted through all the clothes daddy had picked out. Yes, daddy picks out most of the clothes for Northy. He has fantastic taste that guy.

I continued shopping for about 15 minutes while Dave and North took a place at the end of the line. Then I met up with them and we waited at least another hour or so. I think the vastness of this consignment sale would be a pain if you were alone. But Dave, North and I had an enjoyable afternoon.

Most pleasant of all, the ladies shopping at the sale help each other out (there are many men there, but it is a predominately female crowd). Two kind ladies gave me unsolicited input on some purchases that were really helpful. I must have looked very confused that they came to my aid just by looking at the dumb expression on my face. And I paid their kindness forward by helping a lady that was trying to figure out all the breast pump accessories. I guess we've all been there, and no matter where you're at on this journey, you've got wisdom to share at some point along the way.

I swear, the day I joined this club called parenthood, walls came tumbling down around me.

Creamed Cukey Tom Salad

2009-07-26T08:44:00.000-07:00

This salad couldn't be any easier. My sister in law served it to me a few weeks ago and I was all, "please sir, may I have some more" because I like to quote Oliver! (I've never understood the exclamation point in this musical title. Does that make it sound more exciting?) She took pity on me and told me it was just cucumbers, seasoned salt and sour cream. I've adapted the recipe a little today because I need to get rid of more vegetables than that:

1 cucumber, peeled and sliced
1 dollop of sour cream
1 tsp white vinegar
seasoned salt to taste
pepper to taste
1/4 cup onion (optional)
1/3 cup chopped tomatoes (optional)

Directions: combine, let it hang out for a bit and eat.

Mr. Hopping Chatterbox

2009-07-25T10:41:00.000-07:00

I found out I was pregnant exactly one year ago today. What a difference a year makes eh?

Cold veggie pasta salad

2009-07-23T18:58:00.000-07:00

1/4 box mini fusilli

1/4 cup onion, diced

1/2 cup pepper, diced

1/3 cup green creme peas (black-eyed peas would be a great sub)

1/2 cup cucumber, peeled and diced

1/2 cup cherry tomatoes, halved

3 tablespoons italian dressing

I'm really blowing your mind by posting a pasta salad recipe today huh? What next Sonya, a recipe for toast? I know this sounds kind of plain jane, but it had been awhile since I made a fresh pasta salad without using a box as a crutch. I don't know why; making a fresh salad is about the same amount of work as a box. Remember that cute baby I had recently? Let's blame him.

So I boiled the pasta according to the directions on the box and threw in the green creme peas I had shelled at the same time. If you substitute garbanzo beans or black eyed peas, this step is not necessary. Also, I would use more beans if I were you. But I was me and got tired of shelling the creme peas, so I used a smaller amount. I could taste the laziness in my final salad let me tell you, yet it was still quite delicious.

Anyway, while the pasta cooked, I diced my veggies up nice and pretty until the timer went off. Then I drained the pasta and peas and ran cold water over them to stop the cooking process. I dumped everything into a pretty bowl and doused it with some poppy seed dressing (basic Italian would work too.) If I had some Cha Cha dressing, I would have poured the entire bottle all over my salad. I picked some up when I visited my dear friend in San Francisco and we finished it in no time sadly. If you ever see this stuff in a store, pick up a bottle, you will not regret it!

I promise more dishes that do not contain almost exact ingredients next time. I confess I made this salad at the same time that I made the garden pasta with bacon. My multitasking is astounding no? No?

Summer garden pasta with bacon!

2009-07-23T17:11:00.000-07:00

Remember last week when I first prepared pink eye purple hull peas? Well, I believe there was talk of bacon! Then Dave's Tia Vicky in the Dominican Republic sent an email recommending we mix the peas with short cooked pasta and parmesan cheese. Yum! Who am I to resist?

So I boiled up some peas in lighty salted water just as before. I let them boil for about 7 minutes while I fried up 5 strips of center cut bacon. I also had a pot of water coming to a boil so it was ready for pasta.

The pan I used for bacon was big enough that I could eventually throw everything into it and use up the grease and yummy bits already in the pan. One thing that bugs me about cooking shows is the sheer number of pans and bowls used during the cooking process. Obviously Alton Brown is not washing his own dishes man. That guy could make some oatmeal and somehow dirty every dish, pan and possibly brick (he loves to use bricks in his oven) in his kitchen. So anytime I can get a pot or pan to do double duty, I do it as a slap in the face to Mr. Good Eats.

But back to the serious matter that is at hand. With the bacon fried and resting on paper towels, I threw the boiled and drained peas into the big ol' pan with all the bacon 'juice'. That makes it sound healthier right?

In the same pan, I tossed some garlic, onion, squash, orange and red cherry tomatoes, basil and salt and pepper. Most any vegetable would work in this dish for sure, so whatever you've got would probably be tasty. I topped everything with a bit of the green tube parmesan....because that is all I had on hand ok? Remember my assignment to use only what I had? Well, sorry I don't keep fancy pants parmesan reggiano stocked at the ready at all times mister fancy boy! Confession: I like Easy Cheese too.

Summer garden pasta with bacon!

1/2 lb pink eyed purple hull peas,
5 strips of bacon
1/4 box mini fusilli pasta, cooked according to package
1-2 cloves of garlic, diced
1/3 cup onion, diced
1 squash cut into bite-sized pieces
1 cup cherry tomatoes, cut in half
4 basil leaves, chiffonade (shredded if you don't speak fancy)
2 tablespoons parmesan cheese

I would have gladly paid hundreds of dollars for this dish in a restaurant. OK, well I would have paid like $15 for such local fresh ingredients for sure. But how nice to enjoy a healthy and delicious meal from the comfort of my couch with a crying baby nearby? You cannot put a price on such ambiance. I could have lied and said we sipped wine and slowly savoured each bite while enjoying the view of the ridgeline off our back deck. But somehow the truth makes me smile more.

Farmer North

2009-07-22T20:31:00.000-07:00

And with one little picture, Grandmas all over the world just burst into a zillion pieces from cuteness overload. Just so you know, I had to pry that creme pea out of his tiny farmer hand, otherwise he may have clutched it all night.

As you can see from the bounty above, we have a ton of fresh produce this week. My lovely sister-in-law is also a member of our CSA and they are traveling this week to New York state, so she offered us her share. I'm going to challenge myself to cook only with ingredients that I already have on hand and pair them with as much of this local produce as possible. I enjoy cooking with basic staples available almost anywhere because you don't always need expensive ingredients to make delicious food. Plus, I love the frugality of it all.

I will take pictures and post the rough recipe for each dish created. Maybe it will inspire other households to take on the same challenge and use up stuff they've already got on hand or stop by a local farmer's market. Or maybe these recipes will spark a new idea for how to use up veggies from your garden. Lord knows I need some tips myself because currently I have tomatoes coming out of my wazoo. (Please note, wazoo is in the dictionary.)

Anyway, be forewarned that I don't really follow recipes when I cook, I just start looking around to see what I've got and throw it in. So the measurements that I include in these recipes are approximate. A lot depends on personal taste and yours may be different than mine.

This brings to mind something I've heard people say that steams my buns a bit. They claim that they are overweight because of the cheaper processed foods their meager budget forces them to buy. I'm here to yell from my soapbox, that is a load of manure. Dave and I have spent $2 on a pot of lentil soup and eaten a low calorie and nutritious dinner for days! You can cook healthy and thrifty meals for pennies if you plan right. I hope the recipes that follow in the coming days help to drive that point home.

Whew, sorry to get so preachy. I feel pretty strongly about processed food and the link to obesity apparently. As always, I'd love to hear any other ideas anyone has for using up these veggies too!

One-eyed purple people eater

2009-07-16T19:53:00.000-07:00

Membership with our CSA is wonderful so far. This spring, we enjoyed fresh lettuce, onions, potatoes, fennel, all kinds of lettuce and did I mention lettuce? The two heads of lettuce a week really was a godsend though and helped me burn through a lot of baby weight very quickly. Now that summer is here, this second leg of the CSA is providing the bounty I was hoping for. From tomatoes to okra, squash to cantaloupe, we're eating very well in the Killer household.

This week's experiment was pink eye purple hull peas. They're a beautiful southern pea similar to a black-eyed pea. Once I received these and properly staged them for a pretty picture, I shelled each pod while I wore North facing outward. He's a big boy now. He didn't like hulling peas. At all. But boy where they pretty when I was done.

I threw them into a pot of lightly salted water I had on the stove and let them boil for about 5 minutes. Then I grabbed a carrot, peeled it and diced it up and threw it in the pot too. Crazy I know, but I let them cook for 5 more minutes.

After about 10 minutes of boiling, I drained them and threw them in a little frying pan. I threw in some garlic, onion, jalapeno, butter, salt and pepper. My kitchen became very dirty after throwing so much food around but that is the only verb I know. Anyway, I let everything hang out on medium heat until the onions cooked up. You see how casual I am about this cooking thing? It's like Rachel Ray, except I'm not as annoying and I accidentally leave the burners on all the time.

This alone was fantastic and I may have complimented myself aloud throughout the dinner eating process. But I meant to cook some bacon before I even threw the veggies in the pan. Then I would have cooked the peas in the grease, omitted the butter and crumbled bacon over the cooked veggies. It might be for the best that I forgot because I hear people can spontaneously explode if they eat too much bacon-infused deliciousness. There's always next week's produce to see if our mouths can handle that much awesome.

Back in the saddle

2009-07-15T18:07:00.000-07:00

My maternity leave is over and I've been back to work for two weeks now. It's going much smoother than I thought it would. But there are some adjustments that have had to be made in our lives. Going to bed earlier to accommodate getting up at 5:00 AM is probably the biggest change for me. I'm not exactly a chipper morning person. Surprisingly, I actually show up to work on time now though because I know I have to get those six hours in by noon to relieve Dave so he can go to his office downtown.

Being separated from North was also a big adjustment. Thankfully, leaving him is made so much easier by the fact that I am leaving him with Dave and not a daycare. I would be a weepy mess if I had to drop him off somewhere. Mothers that successfully adjust to daycare early on, I applaud you, and I will join your ranks when he's a bit older. But for now, we are so fortunate to be able to take turns caring for him during the day. Although I raised a bit of a stink about it at the time, I couldn't be happier about my reduced schedule at work. So here I am now eating a bit of delicious crow.

*If you're not comfortable reading about breastfeeding, I would encourage you to read no further. Also, I hate to break it to you, but we're mammals. Did I just blow your mind or what?

Being North's only food source (that sounds weird), I have to pump twice during my six hour shift away from him. I'm not sure that I will ever get used to sitting at my desk with my shirt up, pressing the edge of my desk into the breastshields in an attempt to precariously balance them and not spill the milk accumulating in the bottles. My breast pump is not of the hands free variety, hence my little balancing act. One false move and I'm wearing that liquid gold. I have thought about cutting two holes in an old bra to fit the breastshield through, thereby making it ghetto hands free. But then I'd be the cool girl walking around all day long with two big holes in my bra. I suppose I could take a lesson from Mr. Rogers constant sweater changing and alternate bras every time I need to pump. Yeah, that's seems like way more effort than I want to put into this. But back to the subject of pumping on the clock. The boobs-on-display thing is kind of strange, made more comical by the fact that my desk sits in front of a wall of windows. We're talking floor to ceiling here folks. Sure, I could pump in the kitchen or the bathroom like so many other women, but it takes time and I prefer trying to do work at the same time. If someone actually can see me pumping away at my desk from outside, I pity that poor bastard.

Breastfeeding has become extremely normal in our world and it almost doesn't occur to me how weirded out people can still be about it. It is intimate, natural and often hilarious in my experience. But pumping milk manually makes me overwhelmingly feel like a milk cow on a Sesame Street tour of a dairy farm. The main joy I get out of it is carrying my milk home each day in a little brown bag that says "Carolina Country Fresh." I'm my own little dairy farm!

I'm not complaining about the pumping though. I know I'm lucky to even have a supply. It's just a whole lot of work and organization. Between the accessory washing and drying, bag labeling, milk transporting and storing. Often, it feels like I should pursue a career in dairy to justify my preoccupation with milk. Not to mention the defrosting and bottle feeding that has become Dave's new hobby. Sometimes I wish men could induce lactation the way women can. Then again, Dave with boobs = not as cool as it sounds.

Feeding someone with your own body is still miraculous to me. It makes me wonder if other mammals are just as amazed by it all? Do mother dogs look at their litter of pups feeding off her teats and think, "so that's what those are for!" Probably not. But I'm a human with an ego alright? Damn it, there's a sense of accomplishment in knowing that your body just produced say ten ounces of milk. That's almost a can of Coke! I'm still in awe when I look at how much North has grown and think, "I did that."

Three Months

2009-07-07T05:17:00.000-07:00

Dear North,

You have matured so much in the past month, I wonder if you are the same kid. At this exponential growth rate, by next week you may start to grow a moustache in an attempt to buy alcohol underage. But for now you are growing like a weed, discovering your hands, smiling at our hilarious jokes and talking back in your baby jibber jabber. It's amazing to watch your personality take shape, but sometimes I wish you would stay the same size you were at birth. I already find myself getting all misty when I look at pictures of you when you were born or happen upon any of your newborn-sized clothing that hung off you when we brought you home. I'm already working on an invention that will allow me to freeze time so you can't grow up anymore.

One of our favorite games to play with you is the "I love you" game. Sometimes after a feeding or a diaper change, you look up at one of us with your goofy grin and we say, "I love you." Then you answer, "I lllllllllllllllllleeeee." Then we repeat, "I love you." Then you declare, "I lllllllllllleeeeeuuu." This goes on ad nauseam until you become angry and don't want to play anymore. I'm guessing this is you mimicking noises and slowly learning to talk. And if someone wants to correct me and say that you are too young for that kind of development, that person is wrong and has never given birth to a genius. That person also has a stinky butt.

Speaking of stinking butts, you are a huge flirt little one. Today, we went grocery shopping with my mom and you spent the entire time perched on my shoulder making kissy faces at each other. I fear you are already looking for another woman to replace me. Sad face.

We took you on another mini vacation over the Fourth of July and again, you amazed us with your awesomeness. You're just so much easier than we ever dreamed you would be. We do almost all of the things we've always enjoyed doing, except now we push a stroller or carry a tiny person with us. Not to say that you don't still enjoy a good Screamfest '09----you do. But the crying is quickly forgotten as soon as that mischevious glint returns to your smiling eyes.

I was nervous about your reaction to fireworks after spending my last Fourth of July enveloping your dog brother and cupping my hands around his fluffy ears to calm him. When the first boom erupted in the sky, I scooped you up in an embrace of comfort. You seemed very alarmed by this. Then I realized you weren't screaming (unlike all the other wimpy babies I could hear screaming into the night). You were transfixed. In fact, I think you like fireworks almost as much as you like ceiling fans. Almost. You made not a peep the whole show and just stared up at the sky. We were so proud of you and repeated over and over to each other how awesome you are. That's kind of our job now.

Your father and I are much changed now on vacations. Whereas we used to enjoy a good adventure, now we are content to stroll around looking for nice backdrops so we can take countless pictures of you in front of them. Of course, we can't wait to take you camping, biking, kayaking and explore the world alongside of you in years to come. But for now, we are tickled to park ourselves under the shade of an oak tree on the North Carolina coast, while drinking blueberry beer and watch our naked little boy squirm on his towel. That is a memory I will carry with me forever. Regardless of the fact that you peed on me. Twice.

Mardy bums and cloth diapers

2009-06-26T08:22:00.000-07:00

As I've mentioned before, we mainly use cloth diapers on North and only use disposables on him when we're away from home for more than a few hours. A few people I know are interested, (and with upcoming babies on the way!) so I wanted to share a brief glimpse into our chosen system for absorbing our child's waste material.

While pregnant, I studied all the different types of cloth diapering and saturated myself in the cloth diapering world. Eww. But I don't say 'world' lightly. There is a lot of information out there and it can all be quite intimidating for sure. Each time I learned about a different cloth diapering system, I would start spamming Dave with links announcing each to be the perfect solution for us!

But the system that ended up working for us turned out to be the old standard prefold---well a diaper service quality, unbleached indian prefold, if you want to get specific. I bought these after I found out how small North was in utero and realized he wouldn't fit into the Fuzzi Bunz pocket diapers or the Bumgenius one-size diapers I found for him gently used on craigslist. (To anyone that is grossed out by the thought of used diapers, I want you to know they were not crusted in other baby feces. They were not rank with the hundreds of layers of previous poop that came before we enveloped them around our kid's bottom, thanks.) But seriously, nothing about cloth diapering is what you've heard it is. Either that, or I'm chugging my own kool-aid over here.

It is not my intention to get into all of the different types of cloth diapers out there. I've linked to this guide several times now and I'm becoming worried they think I want sponsorship or something at this point. But it is a good site that can get you quickly well-versed. I'm no encyclopedia, but I'd like to list a brief explanation of why I chose each style. This may get pretty boring, but I'll try to use the word poop a lot to keep it fun.

Fuzzi Bunz Pocket Diaper---I snagged a good deal on craigslist for 12 small pocket diapers that fit 7-18 pounds early on in my search. The train print on a few of them caught my eye. They sell new for $15 - $20 per diaper, but I got mine for $10 each. Pocket diapers require a bit more work in the laundry department because you have to stuff the absorbent insert into the pocket of the waterproof shell before putting it on your baby. But once that's done, it's much like changing a disposable diaper. They have adjustable snaps to help fit your baby as it grows. And they help wick the moisture away from your baby's skin and therefore help to prevent diaper rash too. But you have to buy a bigger size as your baby grows. (Edited to add, Fuzzi Bunz now makes one-size diapers like the Bumgenius ones discussed below.)

Bumgenius One-Size Pocket Diaper---As the one-size implies, this is a diaper that will supposedly fit your baby from 7 to 35 lbs. In theory, it should be the only diaper you should ever need to buy and maybe that is true for some babies. They sell new for $17 - $25ish per diaper depending on your organic needs. Again, I found mine on craigslist for $12 per diaper and they were still in the packaging. Used diapers of the Bumgenius variety sell for roughly about 75% of their retail value depending on wear and tear. But even that can add up to quite a chunk of change when you need about 20-30 diapers. There is also the option of reselling them down the road too. Although expensive, for a one-time purchase, this system can provide significant savings over time.

I also bought some all-in-one diapers that are the most like disposables of all the different cloth diapering methods. The absorbent insert is sewn right into the diaper and no prep work stuffing is needed. They take longer to dry because they are one big cushy piece. Currently, they work great for an overnight diaper for Sir Peesalot.

And finally, our favorite current method: prefolds and waterproof covers. They are only an average of $1.75 to $2.50 per diaper, whereas the covers are about $11-13 each. We use a $2 - $3 snappi to hold the diaper in place and the covers have velcro closures. This site has some packages that come with your choice of 6 or 12 prefolds, 2 covers and 1 snappi, plus free shipping (Click prefold diapers, then click diaper packages) They work well for daytime use. The prefold diapers get washed every time they are soiled obviously, but the covers can be swapped out at each diaper change until your next laundry day.

We keep our cleaned-up but old stainless steel garbage can by the diaper changing station lined with a pail liner. Each prefold is thrown poop and all (currently anyway) into the dry diaper pail. Once his poops become more formidable opponents, we will have to address elimination methods for them before the diaper goes in the washer. When it's time to wash, we just gather up the full waterproof pail liner and carry it to the washer. Since we have to wash the diapers, I decided to use cloth wipes too. I made mine out of flannel and terry cloth a few weeks before North arrived. You can easily buy them online too.

Currently, we do diapers and light clothes laundry about 2-3 times a week. The washing is not nearly as involved as I was afraid it would be. In fact, I actually enjoy the process of cleaning North's diapers. First, I throw the wet bag filled with diapers into my front loader washing machine and sprinkle with 1/4-1/2 cup of Borax. I run them through a quick rinse cycle. Once the poop and pee has gone through the initial rinse, I add other laundry to the load. Then I add cloth diaper friendly soap (All Small and Mighty) and 1/4 cup of vinegar (no fabric softener!) to the load. I add an extra rinse cycle at the end too.

Since it is summertime, I gather up all the freshly washed cloth diapers and sun them outside for a few hours. Once they are sunned and dry, I add them to the other laundry patiently waiting in the dryer. This softens up the cloth diapers and helps to quickly dry the other wet laundry in a more green manner.

No system is a perfect system though and we've had leaks and poop explosions (hi this morning!) with cloth diapers. That has more to do with us not putting them on properly and the awesome power of my child's butt than any failure of the diaper though. As long as I don't have to fork over countless bucks every month to support my kid's pooping habit, I'll gladly do a little laundry. Plus, I like that we're keeping some crap out of the landfills too.

To all the naysayers I spoke to about cloth diapers while still pregnant that uhh...naysaid, "yeah, you say you'll use cloth diapers now...just wait until that kid gets here."

Hi. I'm still cloth diapering my kiddo. Dave and I actually enjoy it. But I appreciate your support about what we let North defecate upon nonetheless.

Green thumbed baby

2009-06-25T10:07:00.000-07:00

This is how I find him every morning, diligently watering away. He must army crawl his way up the steps from his crib, open the sliding door that leads to the container garden on the deck, and wrestle the hose off its perch. I haven't figured out how he turns the spigot on the rain barrel yet. He's not nearly tall enough. Maybe our dog Jake is involved somehow? Wouldn't surprise me considering the stray Jake hairs I'll occasionally find clenched in North's fist. Evidence from his morning rendezvous!

I don't blame him for his love of the garden. There is nothing more satisfying than feeling the early morning sunlight as you sip a cup of coffee (or suck your binkie) and water the garden in your pajamas. It is especially beautiful now, while the plants are producing fruit.

We're a member of a CSA and pick up weekly produce from a local farm, so this year, we kept the container garden simple:

3 tomatoes of varying sizes, grape to medium-large

1 fajita bell pepper

1 yellow bell pepper

1 red bell pepper

2 jalapeno peppers

1 zucchini

3 basil

There is also an accidental garden growing out of last years compost bin. So far, it seems to be growing acorn squash and cucumbers maybe?

Going back to work will mean that North and I cannot water the garden together in the morning anymore. But I have a feeling that will become special Daddy and Northie time soon enough.

I like turtles

2009-06-24T09:40:00.000-07:00

This is Gollum, he's our turtle. This is how we found him four years ago. Dave had lost his wedding band and after months of searching, he had given up hope on finding it and ordered a new one. Then one day as he was vacuuming up leaves, he saw a tiny turtle and beside it was his long lost wedding ring. Because the poor little guy only had one good eye and would likely end up a statistic of natural selection, we felt it our duty to raise him. We named him Gollum, former keeper of the ring.

Cute story right?

Well today, as I was walking by the turtle tank while burping North, I saw him assuming a pretty dirty position in his glass swimming dish. That's where he poops. I saw a strange thing emerge from the area I assumed was his butt, thinking maybe that was turtle poop coming out. But the thing kept coming and I realized it was purple. Turtle poop is green, not purple.

"Geeez uhz!" I thought while turning North's innocent eyes away. It was Gollum's winky woo!

Here is what it looks like, if you dare! Yes, this means I googled "turtle penis".

I became worried that Gollum was lonely. Perhaps even made more lonely by the fact that we bought him a half-size stone turtle that sits in the corner of his tank. He mounts it occasionally. But no, the display I witnessed is just normal turtle behavior. Sounds hygienic according to this excerpt from Darren Naish's article "Terrifying sex organs of male turtles".

"Sometimes males will distend their organ neither while mating, nor while in the presence of females. Usually while bathing or drinking, the turtle will submerge the front half of his body, rise up on his back legs, and drop his organ through the cloaca. It is a sight to behold, and one that can startle both novice and experienced herpetoculturalists alike. The organ itself is large in proportion to the turtle, and dark purple in color. After several seconds, the turtle will retract the organ back through the cloaca. It may repeat this process once or twice."

Now I ask you. Aren't you glad you visited my blog today?

The letter people

2009-06-15T13:20:00.000-07:00

With my maternity leave drawing quickly to a close, I'm trying to cram in as many projects from my to-do list as possible. I don't see it in my future to have this kind of free time on my hands again any time soon. In many ways, I look forward to going back to work. But it will be bittersweet for sure, losing my full time days with North. While I have profound respect for moms that stay home tending to their children and home; it is simply not for me. I've come to learn what a lonely job it can be.

Today, I took on some of the filing cabinets and boxes hidden in closets to free up some space in our lives. I found myself hunched over cards and letters I've saved over the years for most of the afternoon. Who knew I had been carrying around so much paper all these years? Revisiting the past always makes for a strange but soothing day.

Although I got rid of a lot of sentimental stuff, I saved the "best of" from all the letters and cards I've ever received. I tried to limit the keepers to those that really summed up that person or my relationship to them. I kept the ones that would have me smiling and laughing in years to come.

At first, I felt it was my duty to do so. I mean, by the time North is my age, people may not even send physical letters anymore. Perhaps mom's old letters from the last century will be foreign and quaint to him then?

Maybe one day North will read some of them and wonder who some of these people are? I hope he finds their stories and sense of humor about this silly game we call life as compelling as I have. He can skim through their words and build an image of what his lame old mum used to be like in her glory days and what life was like in the late 1900s. Wow, that really sounds weird.

I almost wanted to contact some of the folks that wrote to me back then to see if they wanted me to return their letters for curiosity's sake. But I worried that would offend or seem just plain odd to anyone else. Ever wonder what you wrote in some of those letters you penned so long ago? I know I do. In many ways, I think letters still belong to the people that wrote them I guess.

Some of them were saved from recycling so that I can re-read them through North's life for a little perspective on what he might go through as a young adult based on what I went through. Those letters should be a hilarious reminder to me that I have been a pretty unruly kid for my parents. Hopefully, they will give me the strength to allow him to make his own mistakes and find his own path like I did.

Off to the hardware store

2009-06-13T06:59:00.000-07:00

Weekend life is much different than it was before baby. I can hear the "A-ha!" from countless mouths that shared their insight with us before North was born. They are the same people that stressed to us how our life would never be the same (yes, this still cracks me up). You see, previously, Dave and I thought that we could just put the baby back in his box when we were done playing with him. How foolish we were though!

Anyway, where before Dave and I would fill our weekends with various projects around the house, now we share baby duty and we are not quite as productive as we used to be. So often when one of us is going out, we coordinate errands and trips to save time and gas. A few weeks ago, I was headed out to a consignment sale and Dave asked me stop at the hardware store and pick him up some clear silicone caulk. An easy task that was on my way so I, of course, agreed.

Entering Lowe's, I forgot how huge the capacity of the store was and how tiny the item I needed in comparison. Having a lifetime of experience with caulk from being the daughter of an HVAC man (and now daughter-in-law too), I thought about the various departments in the store it might be found. After speed walking through the store to two of these locations, I decided to ask a sales associate to save time.

"OK, how should I phrase this question so I don't say something comically offensive?" I thought to myself. An older gentleman wearing a Lowe's vest came into my line of vision and I flagged him down quickly and asked.

"Excuse me sir, can you tell me where I can find the cauuuulk?" Never has someone enunciated those syllables in quite the same heavy on the "u" manner.

Perplexed at what in the hell I was talking about he asked, "do you mean the caulking?"

Damn! Caulking! I hadn't even thought to add an "ing" to the end of the word to avoid any perverse confusion. He said the word so quickly and effortlessly! Like the word was not a big deal if your mind was not that of a 13 year old boy. Oh well, I'd rather be thought of as that poor girl with an unfortunate speech impediment than a pervert.

Computer tools for the high tech momma

2009-06-11T11:00:00.000-07:00

(Apple's Photo Booth takes a mirror image picture apparently. There you have it, my child is not a vampire.)

Have I mentioned lately how thankful I am to have had a baby with the aid of the internet? Granted, while I sometimes feel that there is too much information (and misinformation) provided by a quick Google search which can sometimes over complicate every simple decision; there is also a definite advantage to raising a baby in a more technologically savvy era. I can't tell you how many times my mother and mother-in-law have commented on how limited the available information was in the 70s and I'm very thankful how much that has changed in the last 30 years.

But let me cut to the chase. My purpose is to compile some helpful websites and applications that I have found useful. Most of them are free and available to anyone unless indicted otherwise. I may have mentioned several of these in previous posts, but I'd like to get them all in one location to make it easier for anyone looking for them:

Trying to Conceive Sites

Fertilityfriend is a great tool to educate yourself on charting your menstrual cycles so that you can figure out your most likely time to conceive. Sign up for the free charting class which will be emailed to you in 20 daily lessons (so much easier than reading a book). Once you start taking your temps each morning, enter the information into your Fertilityfriend chart and start obsessing!

A cost calculator can help you get a better idea of how much you'll need to budget for the baby's first year. (I also wrote about how to save money here and here too in case the cost calculator figure scares the ever-loving hell out of you.)

Here are 10 great tips for financially preparing for a new baby.

Pregnancy Sites

3dPregnancy.parentsconnect.com and Babycenter.com makes it easy to sign up for a weekly email that will provide information on how your baby is developing week to week. Both also have a wealth of information on trying to conceive, pregnancy and raising your child. These two sites along with Thebump.com also have forums where moms and moms-to-be can chat and get advice.

Babygenderprediction.com is a fun site to visit if you're too impatient to wait for the doctors to determine the gender of your child around 18 weeks. For the record, the Chinese Gender Chart told me I was having a girl, so take it with a grain of salt as they will only be right about 50% of the time.

Babynamewizard.com can help you find a name for your little bean. The Namefinder can help you locate a name based on gender, starting letter, number of syllables, etc. and the Namipediatool can help you locate name origins and popularity of the name.

Yogadownload.com has a free prenatal yoga pose and audio guide available.

Baby Coupons can save you big bucks whether they are manufacturer coupons or % off coupons for use in a retail store. Some of my favorite resources for coupons and sale information are babycheapskates.com (sign up for coupons on this list), freebies4mom.com and retailmenot.com

Babysteals.com is a similar idea to woot.com. Each day, they offer a different product at a reduced rate to anyone that wants to purchase it. The product is only available for a 24 hour period though. Shipping is not free, but it is fast in my experience.

Labor Sites

Contractionmaster.com is a easy-to-use free online contraction timing assistant. One tip I would recommend is putting a temporary sticker on the "S" key so it's easy to find if you have to time your contractions through the night like I did. (Also available through the iTunes Application Store for $0.99)

Birth Plan Generator is a free application that will help you quickly create a birth plan to take with you to the hospital. Looks like this is sponsored by Huggies, so that will probably sign you up for some coupons as well.

For any masochists out there, Birthingnaturally.net can help you prepare yourself for giving birth without the aid of pain medication (I joke, I joke). And Bradleybirth.com can help you find a class on the Bradley Method of childbirth

Postpartum Sites

Kellymom.com is a valuable resource for breastfeeding from basic information to latching videos to a lactation consultant directory. Breastfeedingonline.com also is a good source for videos on countless breastfeeding topics. Of course Le Leche League is always going to be a great resource as well and can help you locate your local chapter for support from other mothers.

Wholesomebabyfood.com has a wealth of free information on making your own homemade baby foods, recipes and frequently asked questions about introducing solids to your child. There's even a section on food allergies.

Here is the most comprehensive guide on cloth diapering I've found online for all the basics. Diaperswappers.com is a good place to find other mothers selling used diapers at a nice price (much less gross than it sounds, trust me). I've also had luck finding secondhand diapers using Craigslist. And I've heard good things about buying from stay-at-home moms on Etsy as well. I also found some simple videos showing different methods for folding prefold cloth diapers on Youtube .

SimplyNoise.com is a website that allows you to download free white noise loop-able tracks, which you can then save to your iTunes. Free is good.

White Noise by TMSOFT is another white noise application available for $1.99 purchase through iTunes App Store. You can add this application to your iPhone or iTouch for use on the go. (Or you can just old-school it and tune into a static radio station in your car)

Sittercity.com can help you locate a baby sitter in your area. They offer a free 7 day trial, but an ongoing membership is a paid service.

Childcareaware.org and Naccrra.org can help you decide on the best day care center for you and your baby. They can show you where to start, the questions to ask and how to locate the perfect center in your area.

Fisher-Price has some great ideas on easy activities for you and your baby. These are organized by age of your child and there are some cute and free games you can play with your baby.

Rookie Moms has activities for baby and mom listed by each age. I find myself going back to this site for great ideas time and again.

Want to welcome your baby into the world with a letter from the President? Of course you do! Go here to see instructions on what to do.

Todays Parent offers lots of information on feeding and sleep methods. They also have a weekly development guide.

My Baby Can Talk has free videos available for some simple sign language you can start teaching your baby around 5 months old. I may even start on this sooner because what can it hurt?

Here are some easy recipes for making some all natural baby products.

I will be adding more sites to this list as time permits (and as I discover new resources!) As always, if anyone would like to share any helpful sites they know of, I'm always happy to hear them in the comments!

Two months

2009-06-07T13:46:00.000-07:00

Dear North,

I've decided to (hopefully) write you a monthly letter to tell you about our impressions of you and your tastes as they develop. I'm afraid if I don't write them down, I will forget by the time you ask me about these details. As for last month, well that's already a blur. The first month of your life, you were more of a feeding, sleeping, crying, mound of poop to be cleaned up. A mound that we loved beyond words, but you didn't have much of a consistent personality beyond adorable. So really, if I wrote you a letter based on your first month of life, it would be redundant and pointless, like this:

"Dear North,

You are totally cute and made of giggling buttons. You pooped on yourself and me a second ago and it was so CUTE. So I changed you into a new onesie that you look so PRECIOUS in. I love you muffin. Who's momma's muffinpants. That's right! You are my cupcake-head filled with ice cream yummies!..."

Ahem.

What I'm saying is now we see more of a pattern of behavior that we assume is the you coming out of you. Make sense? So here is what you are like at the close of your second month of life:

Lately, you seem to really get into "Cecilia" by Simon & Garfunkel. I realize that we are somewhat the product of our parents musical tastes, but this is a good duo to pass along to any generation. Both your father and I grew up on them and our appreciation for them has never faded. You definitely like certain music and seem to find others upsetting. Surprisingly, this morning I sang "War" to you and you were smiling at me when I asked you what it was good for. That's right North, absolutely nothin'.

You are going to be a force to be reckoned with. Sometimes the look on your face scares me because your earnest anger just seems so focused and mature. Seeing this in you since your first day, I know that we are born with this fire within us, it's not learned. And boy, you were certainly born with some fire in your eyes!

You smile now! Although I was tempted to proclaim you a genius child that smiled immediately after birth, I knew it was gas. Now, there is no mistaking that sweet toothless grin.

This morning while I was giving you your morning kisses, you started opening your mouth each time I gave you one. I never thought kissing someone without teeth would make me so happy. I'm sorry if that grosses you out.

Your favorite place to be is perched on someone's shoulder. But even then (like now) you may start spontaneously crying in a fit like I'm biting your fingers off. You can imagine the toning this is doing to mine and your father's arm and leg muscles flexing out countless quick squats to reach for your binkie for the 53rd time it has popped out of your mouth while keeping you perfectly bobbing at your favorite shoulder post. I like to think you are monitoring the perimeter and will alert me if ninjas start attacking from behind.

You love to bounce. One would think you were a ball in a past life such is the huge smile of contentment on your face while you are bouncing. Is this the price I now pay for remaining too active while you were germinating in my belly? Maybe the curse my mother put on me years ago to have "one just like you" has come to fruition? Naa, I think that was a curse meant for your teenage years...

Speaking of teenage years, you are quite a chatterbox already. And having a mouth full of binkie doesn't stop you from jabbering away. "Aye aye ayeayeyiyi," you always say. Exactly North. I couldn't have said it better myself.

North takes on the Atlantic

2009-06-04T16:50:00.000-07:00

We packed up the car and headed east to Atlantic Beach last weekend for a quick overnight trip. I'm still laughing that North's suitcase was a tiny toiletry bag stuffed in with my clothes. We kept baby gear to a very minimal level (car seat, stroller and boppy were all we brought). At his age, he doesn't require a whole lot of stuff, which is why we are trying to take advantage of the simplicity we still have while we can.

Once we arrived to the modest oceanfront motor lodge, we threw our stuff into the room and headed out to the beach before the storm headed our way ate up the sunshine. The storm passed over us, so we walked down the beach a little way to the fishing pier and snapped some shots.

Being late May, the water was cold and only lunatics, northerners and drunks chose to submerge themselves in that chilly bath. So we dunked our son's tiny toes into it. He cried only minimally and pulled up his monkey legs. But he seemed to tolerate the rhythmic ebb and flow of the ocean standing atop his daddy's feet much better.

That night we cooked shrimp and scallops on the grill at the hotel and listened to the sound of the waves. Although we listen to North's white noise machine on wave setting every night, there is no substitute for the real deal.

The next morning brought hot coffee, sunshine and another walk on the beach. Oh and an adorable baby.

Mommy and North relaxed on the hammocks at the motel before heading out to lunch at the Sanitary Restaurant. With a name like Sanitary Restaurant, it has to be...free of bacteria? We have driven by it for years, but finally stopped on our way to Beaufort, NC. The best hush puppies I have ever had for sure. The shrimp burger was also quite delicious paired with an oven roasted sweet potato doused in cinnamon and butter. Pictures of Daddy and North in matching Sanitary Restaurant t-shirts to follow.

Four years

2009-05-28T09:05:00.000-07:00

Somehow it feels like we've been together forever, and yet marking four years seems so brief. We've packed so much into our time together; from traveling to 3 different continents to selling our home, to buying another and finally, bringing new life into the world. I look forward to whatever life has in store for us, knowing I get to walk beside you.

Man about town

2009-05-27T19:41:00.000-07:00

North at Artsplosure 2009, sleeping through an aerial act.

North checking out the antiques at the flea market...ok, he's sleeping again and tanning his feet.

Daddy and North at the Raleigh Little Theatre Rose Garden. This will forever be one of my favorite images of my two men

Mommy & North at the Raleigh Little Theatre Rose Garden.

Pregnancy time-lapse

2009-05-14T13:18:00.000-07:00

From August 2008 through April 2009 we took 5 photos once a week.Never has the changing of the seasons had more meaning to me

than it does in this video. Amazing what a little bit of time can

produce...

Newborn Product Raves

2009-05-13T07:07:00.000-07:00

Now that North is one month old, I can look back at the items that helped us the most during those first few weeks. For the record, no one is paying me for my endorsement of their products. Not that I'm closed to that idea, product placement or tattooing any company logos on my forehead for that matter. But anyway, these are our favorite must-have newborn baby products so far and the reasons we are being payed billions to say so:

Kiddopotamus SwaddleMe blankets save us so much time during diaper changes through the night. When we first came home from the hospital, we were still using stolen hospital receiving blankets to swaddle him each night. Because it was still cool during the night, we would hilariously swaddle him with 2-3 blankets at one time (and yes diaper changes took FOREVER.) Finally, it dawned on me that I had registered for swaddle blankets that make the swaddling so much easier with Velcro tabs. The blankets come in fleece and cotton knit to accommodate the varying seasons as well. I have heard great reviews on the Miracle Blanket as well and should North continue to allow us to swaddle him, I may look into getting 1 for him.

Gripe Water is a gift sent down by the Lord. Seriously, thank you God for providing us with sodium bicarbonate, ginger extract & fennel extract that, when combined, make the miracle known as gripe water. Hallelujah and stuff!

Homedics Soundspa Lullaby Sound Machine or the baby crack machine as we've come to call it, is an absolute lifesaver in our household. North is currently sleeping in our room and when we put him down, we start up the ocean waves white noise matched with the fish projection on the ceiling. It is magical. Even mommy and daddy enjoy it and like to pretend they are sleeping ocean side. The device has a handy sleep timer and you can set it anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour. During night feedings, I turn the projection back on like a nightlight so Dave can hopefully still get some sleep. For $15-$20 this is a steal!

Snap-N-Go Stroller is a wise alternative to a bulky and expensive travel system. I've taken North out countless times on my own and our car seat coupled with the Snap-N-Go Stroller makes the outing so easy. They're cheap, practical, manageable, lightweight and compact. If you do go this route, just make sure your car seat and stroller are compatible.

Baby Angelcare Monitor is the greatest invention of the century. The monitor comes with a sensor pad that is placed under the mattress which detects the baby's movement and heartbeat. If 20 seconds go by and no movement is detected, an alarm will sound. During the daytime, I put North down for naps in his crib and turn his Angelcare monitor on. I loop a carabiner through the sound monitor and then attach it to the belt loop on my pants and take it with me through the house and outside. I can hear any noises he makes and feel comfortable that the alarm will sound if there is a serious problem. Talk about peace of mind! The sound monitor is both battery operated and AC adaptable. Just be sure to turn off the nursery monitor when you remove the baby from the crib (unless you enjoy self-inflicted heart attacks).

Prefold Cloth Diapers are cheap, multipurpose and environmentally friendly. Even if you don't plan on using cloth diapers for your baby's bum, use them for burp cloths. You can buy a 12 pack of cloth diapers for the same price that you can buy a 4 pack of burp cloths. The cloth diapers are larger and more absorbent too. (If you plan on actually cloth diapering your baby using prefolds, upgrade them to a diaper service quality Chinese or Indian prefolds with 4x8x4 layering of the fabric.)

An inflatable exercise ball is a great baby soothing device with the dual purpose of being an helpful tool to get the new mother back in shape. These are often available for cheap at TJ Maxx, Ross and the like. Constantly walking around bouncing a fussy baby in your arms can be exhausting. Whereas bouncing the baby on the exercise ball is comfortable, works mom's quads and is kind of fun.

Do you have any highly recommended products that have made life with new baby that much easier? Please let me know in the comments so we can get this information out to other mothers!

One month

2009-05-07T19:26:00.001-07:00

Like all good things in life, it seems like North has been in our lives forever and since yesterday simultaneously. He was brought into the world only one month ago, which feels like a lifetime away now (and in many ways, it was another life). And yet, time is already flying by so quickly. I want to do nothing but stare at him all day long for fear of missing something. I'm afraid that we'll be sending him off to kindergarten if I blink even once.

Already, there have been so many precious firsts: the first time he peed on us, his first projectile poop, his first explosive spit-up, and his first real bath. His umbilical cord finally fell off around 3 weeks after some tummy time. It had occurred to me to possibly save it. That is, until it fell off and I found it inside his onesie and realized saving it was the equivalent of saving a scab. Saving a tooth or some hair trimmings is one thing, but saving a dried up piece of meat (?) just felt a bit strange to me. And so we fed it to Jake (I joke, I joke). I fried it up first.

I'm still amazed at how far he has come in just 4 weeks of life. He now tracks our movements with eyes that really seem to register what he's looking at. When he smiles, we think it's not always gas or sweet relief after he's moved his bowels. At his pediatrician appointment, he already weighed 9 lbs 2 ounces! His progress amazes me on a daily basis. Truly, he amazes me on a daily basis.

He's about to outgrow newborn diapers and onesies already and it just breaks my heart that he's getting bigger. I want his bum to always fit perfectly into the palm of my hand even if that means he accidentally poops on it. While I realize that so many awesome things are waiting for us around the corner, (real smiles, laughter, walking, words!) I'm trying to savor each newborn moment with him now. As much as we're trying to document it, I know that nothing quite captures it like real life does. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go stare at my precious little man some more.

Triple coupon intervention

2009-04-29T18:15:00.000-07:00

Dave and I have sunk to a whole new level of nerdiness. I've kept it a secret until now. It started about a year ago when we began subscribing to the Sunday paper and I started clipping coupons. My motivation at the time was simply to make the subscription pay for itself. Then I heard about triple coupons at Harris Teeter and the sickness started. Funny enough, that was the Saturday I found out I was pregnant with North. I kept the pregnancy a secret that last special day of freedom. That perfect summer evening, Dave and I went to a concert and I enjoyed one last beer without my husband giving me a deserved stink eye. Afterwards, we went to Harris Teeter and triple couponed the night away (as someone that holds an English degree, I have the authority to make verbs out of any word I see fit.) Looking back, that's the night we officially became adults ...or losers, depending on your perspective and whether you still spend all your free time out in a bar.

Fast forward to now. North couldn't have been born at a better time, but it means I have gotten behind on my coupon clipping over the last month or so. When I heard about the latest Harris Teeter triple coupon event, I knew I had a wonderful stockpile of coupons waiting for me. First, I quickly poured through my coupon fliers and clipped only the $0.99 and under coupons for the products we will use (Harris Teeter will only triple coupons less than $0.99). Then I visited Taking Stock by Sue Stock through the News & Observer's website and perused her picks of the best deals and figured out which items we wanted. (If you like Sue Stock, my friend Michele hooked me up with a weekly e-newsletter called Here's the Deal that compiles information from several like-minded blogs.) The big trick to increasing your coupon savings is using a coupon on top of a sale the store is already having for that item. What I love about Sue's list is that she does most of the work for you.

Because Harris Teeter only allows you to use 20 coupons per visit, I normally plan multiple trips to the store. So I organize my coupons based on which items are going to disappear the quickest (i.e. the items that are free or close to it) for my first trip, then I sort them based on where they are found in the store. This preparation took me about an hour today and then I was off to the store! Each trip to the store took about a half hour. If you have a husband and son that support your habit the way mine do, it makes for a much faster trip. Plus, saving money should be a family affair!

The first trip was the more impressive of the two. Many of the items shown below were either free or insanely cheap. For $60.21 in groceries, I spent $15.32 which is a 75% savings and got the following items:

The second trip was not quite as disciplined as the first trip I took alone. My husband spotted a case of beer that was on sale, then I grabbed a large bottle of wine that looked too delicious to pass up, and North begged me to get a carton of organic milk, so that skewed our tally by $20 or so. But for $88.25 in groceries, we ended up paying $48.05, which is 46% savings. I hope one day manufacturers of alcohol consider printing coupons for their products to make my triple coupon tallies more brag-worthy.

Today's two trips saved us a total of $85.09 for groceries that should have cost us $148.46. So we ended up spending only $63.37. We saved 57 % overall, not too bad for a few hours of work!

Free skin cancer screenings in Raleigh

2009-04-29T14:31:00.000-07:00

May is Melanoma and Skin Cancer Detection and Prevention Month, which is good for the hypochondriac that lives deep within each of us (or am I the only person that has googled skin cancer symptoms?) On May 18, the Dermatology Center in Raleigh will hold free skin cancer screenings from 8:00 AM to 12:00 PM to anyone interested. Each screening takes a mere 10 minutes from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet. Follow the link to schedule an appointment if you're in the area. To anyone outside the triangle, do a quick search for any participating dermatologists in your area. I'm sure you can locate a practice that is taking part in this great cause. Just imagine what peace of mind (and time savings you would have spent pouring over images of moles) you will have once you finally take the time to get screened!

Introducing Mr. Fussypants

2009-04-27T14:49:00.000-07:00

Never have I seen so many superstitious people as I have since giving birth. Through the duration of my pregnancy, I've had the pleasure of coming to know several other women that found themselves likewise knocked up. Now that most of us have had our babies (although there are still several that are finishing up their cooking time), it's interesting to see where these women (and myself) are at emotionally. We are wise enough to know that even when things are going well with our newest addition to the family, to admit this out loud tempts God to punish you for such pride. I've never been so happy to surround myself with so many wooden objects as I am now, in case the need suddenly arises to appease myself with the fates and knock on wood after admitting I have a well-behaved baby.

But sometimes no matter how bloody our knuckles, even knocking on wood cannot protect us from the condition of a fussy child. Strangely, it is a bit of a relief to admit we have a fussypants on our hands. Afterall, I am well acquainted with the look of someone that silently loathes me for having a well-mannered child as they smile politely and say, "how nice for you," through clenched teeth. As the saying goes, misery loves company and this is particularly true of an exhausted and hormonal new mother.

In the interest of full disclosure, the last week has been particularly rough on me (which I hate to admit). But I set this blog up to document this experience and that doesn't mean creating an illusion of the truth I want people to believe. Since North's crying jags have begun, I had felt incompetent as a mother and ineffectual as a soother of a crying infant. The experience had me feeling numb and scared of my child. While I could still enjoy the good moments with my little boy, I dreaded the future outburst from him that I had no confidence to calm.

I find myself knocking on the wooden desk I'm typing upon even now, feeling more secure in my newfound skills as a mother. While both Dave and I have developed new talents of calming a crying child, the more valuable mindset I've developed in the last week is that of not caring what any outside observer thinks of my mothering skills. I've learned how to convince myself that babies will cry and it is not my fault. It is not the fault of my clean floors when my baby has gas that he needs to work through. The fact that I failed to sleep when he sleeps for the upteenth day in a row is not causing his temporary colic. As of tomorrow, we've had this child in our care for a grand total of 3 weeks and you know what---I'm pretty damn proud of how far we've come in that time. And yes, today was a stellar day (even with a little bit of fussiness thrown into the mix) but we overcame the fear and enjoyed the beautiful day.

Really, I'm writing this for any new mother out there that has or will have similar feelings. I believe doubting yourself and what you are capable of is normal. Just choose not to allow these negative thoughts to rule you (and if the people around you are making you feel this way, address this with them immediately). While everyone's experience is absolutely unique, I know such self-doubt will only lead to more bad experiences down the road.

While North is far and away my number one priority right now because he is at his most vulnerable; my husband, our pets, and my ambition are still on the forefront of my mind as well. Learning to balance all of them has been my mission in the last 3 weeks; but even before that, the art of a well balanced life has always been my most important and never-ending challenge. Having a baby just adds one more ball to my juggling act.

North Kilian's afternoon constitutional

2009-04-21T17:35:00.000-07:00

As new parents, we do not get out much these days. That is fairly obvious if you check out our latest video. All sounds contained in this video are real and no sound effects were used to generate this hilarity. You may want to turn your volume up.

Delivery tips for the hospital

2009-04-19T14:57:00.000-07:00

There are a ton of articles online about what to pack in your hospital bag when you're ready to deliver your baby (most of these items are absolutely not necessary in my experience). The only items that I feel were essential during my hospital stay were: chapstick, gum, hair tie, toothpaste, toothbrush, toiletries including soap and shampoo, make-up, lanolin, nursing bra, cell phone, camera, laptop, going home outfit for baby and comfy going home outfit for you (although most women in labor show up to the hospital wearing clothes, so you could just wear those home if you really wanted to minimize your packing.) All the other stuff you hear that you need like slippers, robe, nightgown, special pillows, etc is really not necessary or the hospital provides an alternative.

But I've been thinking about my hospital experience and some of the useful information I knew beforehand and some valuable lessons I learned in retrospect that I'd like to share with anyone preparing to deliver so they are more prepared than I was. So here we go!

-Eat something that is going to fill you up while you are still at home. I opted for lasagna and a root beer float (I did not get sick thankfully, although in my experience milk comes back up in a somewhat refreshing manner in case you were wondering.) Most hospitals do not allow any food in the delivery room. And most of the time you are only allowed water and ice chips during the later stages of labor.

-Don't pee right before you go to the hospital. They will want a sample as soon as you get there. (Edited to add: I only live about 2 miles from the hospital where I delivered. I shouldn't advise people on the requirements of their bladder coupled with the possible staining of their car's upholstry when I don't know everyone's precise mileage from their hospital. Don't listen to me.)

-Discuss important details like donating the cord to the blood bank, Hepatitis B immunization, circumcision, etc. with your partner beforehand so that you are prepared to make your wishes known to the hospital staff when these issues come up even if your partner is not in the room at that time.

-Keep your packing to a minimal level. Hilariously, I packed 2 encyclopedia-sized baby manuals (one for me and one for Dave so we didn't fight over them) that I was convinced we would want to speedread once the baby was born. And we might have, had we not discovered the baby channel on our TV which played in the background for the duration of our stay in the hospital.

-Only bring the delivery essentials for the delivery room. Keep the overnight bags in the car until you are moved to the postpartum room.

-Have your husband or labor partner take notes on your progression through labor, noting the time, dilation and any other labor details of interest. Often these things can be blurry in retrospect and it's nice to have a detailed account of what took place to look back on afterwards.

-Have your husband or labor partner keep track of physicians (or contractors) names and the services they provide in case there are insurance disputes later on. If someone walks into your room and asks for your insurance information, be sure to get their name as well. Same goes for any bill paying that may be done during your hospital stay.

-Be very vocal and extremely direct with your nurses if there is something you need. I made the mistake of being too casual with my nursing staff and apparently that translated to them as me not needing anything. For example, I mentioned my interest in speaking with a lactation consultant after North and I experienced some latching issues his first morning of life. By 4:00 PM, no one had visited the room because the nurses hadn't relayed my request. Be vigilant about your needs.

-Plan on wearing the gowns provided by the hospital. You're going to be bleeding quite a bit and there is no need to ruin your pretty clothes you brought with you. Plus, their gowns have snaps at the shoulders and are great for nursing. I recommend wearing one gown with the back open and putting another gown on backwards to create a makeshift robe. It's fashion-forward and the nurses will respect the MacGyver in you. Be warned though, you may surprise yourself with your nonchalance regarding who sees your ass hanging out after delivery.

-Order 2 desserts from room service. No one is going to judge how much food you eat. Be nice and give 1 of the desserts to your husband.

-Drink a ton of water. If you have a catheter, it's important that you start peeing on your own as quickly as possible. But if you're nursing, you need more liquids as well. Plus keeping yourself well hydrated will help with constipation and any horribleness that may or may not be going on with the backside of your body.

-Take the stool softeners the nurses offer you. And hell, take the pain pills too!

-If you plan on pumping and you already have your pump, take it with you to the hospital. I had the lactation consultation look at mine to make sure that my breast shields actually fit me (she gave me better fitting ones for free).

-Don't be modest. There is no need to be embarrassed about delivery or nursing. You are going to have lots of things going in and coming out of your body. Doctors will be putting their hands in strange places and nurses and consultants will be grabbing your boobs to show you techniques for nursing. Remember they are experts and not perverts. Let go of your inhibitions and get as much knowledge as you can from their experience while you can.

-Keep the baby in the room with you if you want, it's good practice after all! But don't be afraid to call the nurses to come take the baby to the nursery either. Remember, you just gave birth and you need some sleep too.

-If you have a boy and you plan to circumcise, try to make sure it is completed 24 hours BEFORE you leave the hospital. North got circumcised (sorry to announce this to the internets son, but it's for a good cause I promise) an hour before we were discharged. This led to a much more difficult first day at home for everyone than necessary.

-Make sure your spouse is present for all directions on paperwork and on baby care instructions. More than likely, the mother will be exhausted and on some form of pain medication, so her memory may not be in the best shape for these details. I still fail to understand why all directions and instructions were given only to me. I think both parents need to be present if at all possible, that way everyone is accountable and not just the mother.

-Take any extra supplies provided by the hospital for both you and the baby. Apparently, you are not supposed to take the blankets, but we did walk away with a few. They may be ugly, but they are incredibly multipurpose. Take the pads, wash basin, hats, baby shirts, mesh underwear, pads, take it all!

-The nurses may also ask you if you need anything else before you leave---do not be shy about asking for more diapers, wipes, pads, ice packs, etc. We walked out of the hospital with an extra $40 in diapers and wipes when I explained I was using cloth on him and would need something to tide us over until the cloth fit him. Not only did this save us having to go to the store, but it saved us money too.

-Bring reusable grocery bags to the hospital with you to carry all your free hospital loot home.

I hope to add to this list as more things occur to me. I'd also love to hear any other tips you ladies have out there.